Taylor Doose: Lorelai, you don't even know what we're voting on.
Lorelai: [hillbilly accent] Yeah, but I'm agin it!

Taylor Doose: Lorelai, I hope that's not food in those bags. Food is not allowed at town meetings.
Lorelai: No, Taylor, it's, um... It's diapers for the little ones.
Taylor Doose: The what?
Lorelai: Dorsal fins and Cucamonga.
Taylor Doose: What did she say?
Lorelai: I confuse him till he loses his train of thought. Then he moves on.

Lorelai: These are not fries. They are Fahrvenugen Soogan Dugan.

Rory: Madeline, I got the notes you wanted.
Madeline: No, thanks.
Rory: These are the ones you asked for. The Biology notes from Tuesday.
Madeline: No, thanks.
Rory: What's wrong with her?
Louise: Nothing's wrong with her, Mary.
Rory: Mary? Oh, no, not this Virgin Mary thing again.
Louise: Not virgin. Typhoid.

Rory: What?
Paris: You know, when we met at the beginning of the year I didn't like you because I thought you were some rube from the sticks. And I have no patience for rubes.
Rory: How very enlightening.
Paris: But then I discovered that you're not so dumb. You even seemed modestly interesting at times. That's when I made a very big mistake. I let my guard down. That won't happen again.
Rory: What is this about?
Paris: It's about using people for your own ends. It's about making enemies where you should've made friends.
Rory: How did I make you my enemy?
Paris: Oh, I think you know.
Rory: What? Was it setting you up with Tristin? I'm sorry about that. I thought I was just being nice.
Paris: Oh, sure you did.
Rory: I helped you get ready. I loaned you my mother's clothes, which I still haven't got back.
Paris: Oh, my God, you're right. I hope those weren't the ones Skippy didn't have her puppies on them. I'll check when I'm home.

Paris: I don't have time for concerts anyway. I'm lining up my extracurriculars for next year. By the way, are you still going out for the school paper?
Rory: You know, I am.
Paris: You'll need a faculty recommendation.
Rory: I think I can swing it.
Paris: And the student editor's support.
Rory: I'm not worried.
Paris: Worry. I just got the job.
Rory: Oh, congratulations.
Paris: Thank you. And don't worry. You'll have some role. How's covering the new parking lot landscaping sound?
Rory: Peachy.
Paris: Too bad I already filled the slot for music coverage. You know, record reviewing and such. You'd have been perfect for it. I gave the job to Louise.
Rory: Louise owns two CDs.
Paris: Yeah. Well, got to go. Have a really good summer.

Luke: I forgot my toolbox, so I just thought I'd come pick it up.
Lorelai: Yeah, it's right over here. We couldn't lift it or we'd have brought it to you. Then we got used to having it here, so we named it Bert. We'd say, "Good night, Bert," and it'd say, "Good night, girls." We spend too much time home alone.
Luke: Thanks for taking care of him.
Lorelai: Our pleasure.

Lorelai: So, Luke, we'll talk later.
Luke: Yes, we will.
Max Medina: Although probably not tonight. We won't be back until late.
Lorelai: No, I meant not tonight.
Max Medina: Oh, I misunderstood.
Lorelai: I meant tomorrow. So, tomorrow.
Luke: Absolutely. We see each other most every day.
Max Medina: Well, sure. You've got the coffee.
Luke: And she needs the coffee. So I'll see you tomorrow, same time as always.
Max Medina: I'd count on a little later.
Luke: It doesn't matter what time it is. I'll always be around.

Max Medina: So, are we going?
Lorelai: Yeah. Just wanted to make sure you two were done swinging those things around. Someone's bound to lose an eye.
Max Medina: What are you talking about?
Lorelai: Nothing. I'll get my purse.

Max Medina: Hey, it's okay. We were apart for quite a while. I never assumed you joined a convent. It's not like I didn't date while we were apart.
Lorelai: You dated?
Max Medina: A little.
Lorelai: A little person?
Max Medina: No, I dated a little.
Lorelai: Okay. Well, I didn't expect you to join a manvent or whatever the male equivalent of that is called. Who did you date?
Max Medina: A monastery.
Lorelai: You dated a monastery?
Max Medina: No, a monastery is the male equivalent of a convent.