Lorelai: Okay, so where do the cool kids sit?
Rory: This is Yale. There are no cool tables.
Lorelai: Oh, come on. Point out the cliques. The geeks. The stoners. The Plastics. Give me the scoop.
Rory: The scoop is that this is Yale. There are no cliques, we are beyond cliques.
Lorelai: So you get to college, and everybody just loves each other?
Rory: Yes.
Lorelai: It's Haight-Ashbury all over again.
Rory: Except the tie-dye is done by Prada.

Rory: Hey, not that one.
Lorelai: See, that was the clique table.
Rory: No, it's under an air vent.
Lorelai: Seriously, Grandma, buy a shawl.
Rory: Hey, one good cold can set you back a month in studying.
Lorelai: Mmm. See, in my mind, I heard "partying", but okay.

Rory: So what's going on at home?
Lorelai: Oh! Big grapefruit shortage. The hurricanes wiped them out and Taylor is completely freaking out.
Rory: I'm sure.
Lorelai: And Patty and Babette are organizing Stars Hollow's first botox party.
Rory: Are you invited?
Lorelai: Are you insinuating I should be?
Rory: So the Hollow's low on grapefruits.
Lorelai: Uh-huh. And I'm doing costumes for the Stars Hollow Elementary School production of Fiddler on the Roof.

Lorelai: Anyhow, I'm fine. I mean, not that I'm over it, but little by little it's getting easier to pretend it's easier, which means easier must be right around the corner.
Rory: I'm sure it is.
Lorelai: And I'm working on getting down a new routine. I've settled on Weston's in the morning.
Rory: Decent coffee, excellent strudel.
Lorelai: Yeah.

Rory: Hey listen, are you working this weekend?
Marty: Uh, no.
Rory: Great, because I was thinking, it's been ages since we've had a good hangout night.
Marty: Oh, well-
Rory: We could watch DVDs, order food. Oh, I just got the new Marx Brothers box set. You love the Marx Brothers, Duck Soup.
Marty: I don't know if I can-
Rory: Did you hear me? I just said Duck Soup.

Lorelai: What's a matter?
Sookie: Apparently Batman's attacking the inn.

Doyle: Bet Woodward and Bernstein never tossed Ben Bradley out of their room.
Rory: Ben Bradley kept his shoes on!

Michel: I don't know if anyone's noticed, but suddenly I am the only one working.
Sookie: You're right, no one noticed.
Michel: My arm is cramping up.
Lorelai: We offered to take over, Michel.
Michel: These stencils are antiques. They've been handed down from generation to generation of Girards. No one touches these stencils but me.
Sookie: Okay.
Michel: The fumes are making me sick.
Lorelai: Oh, my God, you had a fit to be included, and you've done nothing but complain since you got here.
Michel: I did not have a fit to be included. I have a life. I have plenty of friends. And I dare you to find anyone who has a larger collection of techno and world music than I do. I'm fulfilled and I need nothing from either one of you.

Rory: What's up, Doc?
Marty: "What's up Doc"?
Rory: Well, Harpo doesn't talk, so there's no catch phrase.
Marty: Well, then, do Groucho.
Rory: Everybody does Groucho. Come in! Come in!

Paris: Oh, thank you very much for kicking my undefined sexual male partner out of the room that we share.
Rory: I had company coming, Paris.
Paris: You insulted him, you demeaned him. You mad him feel unwelcome.
Rory: He was unwelcome.
Paris: And now, thanks to you, he refuses to come back here which means I have to spend the night over at his place with his three roommates. The place is a health violation. Things grow on the windowsill without the help of pots or soil. And there is the faint aroma of sweat socks and starter cologne lingering in the air at all times. And yes, I have to bring my own toilet paper over there because it is a third world country. Thank you very, very much.