Rory: Hey, do you think Grandpa knew about it?
Lorelai: About Christopher coming?
Rory: Do you think he planned it with Grandma?
Lorelai: Look how panicked you are. No, honey, honestly, the whole thing reeks of Emily. I mean, not that I think he would have discouraged it, but I'm pretty sure she's the one who poisoned the apple and gave it to Dopey to bring to the party.

Sookie: [answers phone] Hello?
Michel: I heard a noise in the kitchen.
Sookie: What kind of noise?
Michel: A "bam", or a "clang". Possibly a "crash". It might have a "wham" or a "kapow".
Sookie: Well, did you go check it out?
Michel: Excuse me, I'm extremely busy. Someone here has to work, I mean, the two of you just run off to do your little decorating project and you leave me here alone.
Sookie: Michel! Did you actually hear a noise?
Michel: Of course I heard a noise. It was a "thwap" or a "vroom".

Sookie: [answers phone] What, Michel?
Michel: I'm smelling something very funny coming from the kitchen. Could be a pungent cheese, could be arson. Should I call the firemen to come, or should I just fetch some crackers?

Doyle: I'm Doyle, Rory's editor.
Paris: And my lover.
Lorelai: Okay, well, super.
Doyle: I don't think lover is exactly the correct term, Paris.
Paris: Really? What is the correct term, Doyle?
Doyle: At a later time, Paris.
Paris: Doyle and I haven't defined the social aspects of our relationship yet. Although we're having sex three or four times a week, so apparently the sexual aspects of our relationship are crystal freaking clear.

Lorelai: So I notice you told Paris about my breakup.
Rory: Ah. I'm sorry, I didn't tell her on purpose. It's very difficult to keep anything from Paris. It's very close proximity and I swear she has a dog's ears.

Lorelai: This was a good idea, having dinner.
Rory: Well, it is Friday night.
Lorelai: Yeah, but Friday night dinner without Ava and Adolf. Lovely.
Rory: It's really not fair calling Grandpa Adolf.
Lorelai: No, no, that was Grandma.

Lorelai: How are you?
Rory: Hmm, well, I study, then study, then after a little study break, I study.

Lorelai: So what did he say?
Rory: He wanted to give me his side of the story.
Lorelai: Oh, well. Unless his side of the story includes having his long-lost evil twin lock him in the closet and come to the wedding in his place, his side of the story doesn't exist.

Lorelai: You are so not starving here at Yale.
Rory: My lips are frozen.
Lorelai: Look, while it might seem a little eccentric to eat ice cream in forty degree weather-
Rory: You think?!
Lorelai: There are several advantages to the concept. For example, since it's cold out, the ice cream won't melt, therefore it'll last longer.
Rory: So then my lips will stay frozen for double the amount of time.
Lorelai: Mmm-hmm. Okay, I lost the feeling in my tongue.
Rory: I'm throwing the ice cream out now.
Lorelai: Oh, my God, it's frozen. It's like an ice cube. A tongue-shaped ice cube and it'll never thaw.
Rory: Then why don't you shut your mouth? Let the heat stay inside?
Lorelai: That was hostile. And useful. Thank you.

Woman: Here we go. Three coffees.
Lorelai: Oh, no, I'm sorry. I only ordered one.
Woman: You said "Coffee, coffee, coffee".
Lorelai: [chuckles] No, see, I said... "Coffee-coffee-coffee".
Woman: Right.
Lorelai: As in I really need "Coffee-coffee-coffee." You know...
Woman: No.
Lorelai: Coffee-coffee-coffee is a saying, like an exaggeration. It's a funny, desperate cry for caffeine. It's just my thing. 'Cause everybody knows I drink a lot of coffee, so the day can't start until I've had my jolt. It's a bit. My bit. It's not a particularly funny bit unless you know me... And, you know what, three coffees would be great. What do I owe you?