Rory: So, how come Paris is driving?
Paris: Are we gonna go through this again?
Rory: I didn't know we'd already gone through it.
Paris: I can't be in a car if anybody else is driving, okay? If I die in a car crash, it's going to be at my own hand.

Paris: Hey, I shaved three hours off the MapQuest estimate. How about a "thank you" for that?

Rory: Well, at least it doesn't smell bad in here.
Paris: Pull your covers down and roll on the bed.
Rory: Why?
Paris: We are sharing this room with four other girls, Rory. Plus 10K Barbie. We have to stake out our territory.
Rory: Yes, and then we need to up your dosage.
Paris: Look, a person comes in, they see a dent in the bed, possibly a hair on the pillow...
Rory: So the person's David Caruso?
Paris: They'll figure that bed is taken. They will then move on to the couch or the rollaway.
Rory: That's insane.
Paris: Okay, suit yourself.

Paris: Hmm, that was subtle.
Rory: What are you talking about?
Paris: The Joanie loves Chachi moment.

Paris: Pizza and The Power of Myth.
Rory: A perfect evening.

Rory: Okay, I'm sorry, are we doing this right?
Paris: Doing what right?
Rory: Spring break. I mean, we're in here alone with Joseph Campbell and Bill Moyers, and everyone else is out there with...
Paris: Everyone else?
Rory: Yeah.
Paris: But we love Bill Moyers.
Rory: Yes, we do love Bill Moyers. But we did come here for spring break, and I'm just wondering if we're not spring-breaking the way you're supposed to spring break.

Rory: What are you doing? Are you crazy?
Paris: Well, Madeline and Louise do it.
Rory: Madeline and Louise wear their underwear outside of their clothes. I don't want to do what Madeline and Louise do.

Paris: How was I?
Rory: What?
Paris: As a kisser?
Rory: Oh, man!
Paris: Well, I've always wanted to know, and you can't ask a guy 'cause that's a sign of low self esteem, which I've read is really not sexy. So tell me, how am I? Too stiff? Do I need to relax my lips a little, maybe open my mouth more, make it more inviting?
Rory: I need some fresh air.

Luke: [leaving a message] Hey, it's Luke. I'm sorry to be calling you like this, but I was wondering if, when you get this message, you could come pick me up 'cause I need a ride. I'm in Litchfield, the corner of Mason and Pine. It's a big, white building. You'll recognize it by the police sign outside because, oh, hell, I'm in jail. Okay, there I said it. Long story. I'll tell you when you get here. Thanks if you come. Oh, one more thing. I need to borrow a little money, 300 bucks. It's just a loan, and, oh, hell, it's for my bail. I'm gettin' off now! Relax!

Louise: Prediction.
Madeline: She's psychic.
Paris: Since when?
Madeline: Since about six months ago.
Louise: I think it's not gonna last.
Paris: Two married 19-year-olds won't make it? Boy, that's a risky bet.
Louise: I think it's not gonna last because he was way too in love with you.
Rory: No. We've been broken up for a long time.
Louise: But he only had eyes for you, girlfriend. A deep, long, soulful Rory-eyes.