Chandler: So he calls me Toby once in a while. What's the big deal? It could be worse. It's not like he's calling me Muriel.
Ross: Muriel. Why would he call you Muriel? Oh, my God. Chandler "M." Bing. It's not just an "M." Your middle name is Muriel!
Chandler: Ssh. It is a family name.
Ross: Chandler Muriel Bing. Boy, your parents never even gave you a chance, did they?

Joey: Dude, what is going on?
Ross: I just have to find out how it went.
Joey: Why?
Ross: This guy could be my baby's stepfather.
Joey: They go on one date and you're worried about them getting married? He's not you!

Chandler: Hey, Bob.
Bob: Hey, Toby. Have a good night.
Ross: Did that guy just call you Toby?
Chandler: Yeah, he thinks that's my name.
Ross: Well, why don't you correct him?
Chandler: Oh, it's been going on way too long now. I mean, the first time he said it, were just passing in the hallway so I didn't say anything. Then the next time he said, "Hey, Toby, you want a doughnut?" And I wanted the doughnut. And now it's five years later, the doughnut's gone and I'm still Toby.

Phoebe: Well, hello there.
Tim: Hi.
Phoebe: I didn't see this on the menu.
Monica: This is Tim, my new sous chef.
Phoebe: So you're Monica's boss?
Tim: Actually, she's my boss. "Sous" is French for "under."
Phoebe: Ah. I "sous-stand."

Joey: Okay, just let me get changed and we can go to dinner.
Rachel: What happened to Jessica's body?
Joey: I'm not telling. You'll have to see it on TV.
Rachel: You don't know, do you?
Joey: No. Couldn't care less.

Phoebe: I had the best time with Tim last night. Oh, he is so sweet. I can't wait to get "sous-neath" him.

Joey: He even asked me if I thought you'd go out with him.
Rachel: Oh. I think I'm gonna throw up a little bit. What did you say?
Joey: I said "No."
Rachel: What?
Joey: What? I just figured since you're pregnant, you're not gonna be seeing people.
Rachel: Okay, Joey. First of all, Kash Ford? Not people. Second of all, what did he say when you told him I was pregnant?
Joey: I didn't tell him. I didn't know if you were telling people. This was back when I thought Kash was still "people."

Mr. Franklin: Hey, Bing. Was that Bob from six you were just talking to?
Chandler: Yeah.
Mr. Franklin: Well then you know each other?
Chandler: We're on a semi-first-name basis.

Mr. Franklin: What do you think about adding him to our team?
Chandler: Bob? Ooh. Working here with us? Every day? Yeah, I don't know if he has what it takes.
Mr. Franklin: Really? They love him down on six.
Chandler: But this is 11. It's almost twice as hard up here.

Mr. Franklin: Okay, Bob will stay put.
Chandler: I think it's best, sir.
Mr. Franklin: But we really do need to find somebody up here. Work is starting to pile up. I've got a stack of documents on my desk this high.
Chandler: You know what you should do? Just toss them in the shredder and claim you never got them.
Mr. Franklin: That's a good one, Bing.
Chandler: What does a guy have to do to be taken seriously around here?