Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] Went to the store, Sat on Santa's lap, Asked him to bring my friends, All kinds of crap, Said all you need is, To write them a song, Now you haven't heard it yet, So don't try to sing along, No, don't sing along, Monica, Monica Have a happy Hannukah, Saw Santa Claus, He said hello to Ross, And please tell Joey, Christmas will be snowy, And Rachel and Chandler, [indistinct] Happy holidays, everybody!

Phoebe: [playing guitar and singing] It only takes two heart attacks, To finally make you see, One of them won't do it, But the second will set you free, Tell all your hate and anger, It's time to say goodbye, And that is just what I will do, Soon as those bastards I worked for die!

Phoebe: Thank you. Now, if you want to receive e-mails about my upcoming shows, then please give me money so I can buy a computer.

Rachel: Pheebs, I want to ask you something. Since I'm moving out, and you're so beautiful, how about I move in with you?
Phoebe: Well, that would be great, but then what do we do about Denise?
Monica: Who's Denise?
Phoebe: My roommate.
Rachel: You have a roommate?
Phoebe: Yes, Denise. Denise.
Joey: What is with the secrecy, Phoebe? And what about this Denise? Is she cute?
Chandler: Pheebs, I don't understand. How can you have a roommate that none of us know about?
Phoebe: Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time. Denise!

Gunther: So I understand you're looking for a place?
Rachel: No. No, I'm staying put.
Gunther: Oh. I was going to offer you my apartment.
Rachel: Why? Where you going?
Gunther: I don't know.