Ross: So did he get on one knee? Did he have a speech prepared? Oh, did he cry? Yeah, big surprise, I like proposals.

Rachel: All right, fine. You can keep it. As long as you don't mind that she's haunted.
Joey: Hey, what? What?
Rachel: Well, legend has it, Joey, that she comes alive when you're asleep. She climbs out of the frame and then drags her half-a-body across the floor just looking for legs to steal. And then with her one good hand she slowly reaches up and turns your doorknob.
Joey: Get that legless witch out of here!

Phoebe: And the worst one, he wants me to get rid of Gladys.
Monica: Who's Gladys? [gasps] Oh, what a tragic loss.
Phoebe: Yeah, I really hate to give her up. Oh, I know. Oh, you should take her.
Monica: Oh, I don't know.
Phoebe: What, you don't like her?
Monica: Of course I do. What's not to like? I'd take her in a minute. But I think that you're giving up too easy. I think that you need to fight for her.
Phoebe: Really, you think?
Monica: Absolutely. You say to him, "I'm sorry, Mike, I can't live without her. She means too much to me."
Phoebe: Okay, I'll fight for her. Okay. Oh, wait. Oh, I just realized, if I do that, that means you don't get her.
Monica: Damn it, I did not think this through.