Martin: What do you need to borrow money for?
Niles: I saw the most exquisite Biedermeier footstool.
Martin: For four thousand bucks? Niles, your mother and I didn't pay that much for our first house.
Niles: I know, Dad. I lived there.

Frasier: What have you got on the new owner?
Roz: Oh, plenty.
Frasier: Yeah?
Roz: His name is Wilford S. Boone, but he likes to be called "Big Willy."
Daphne: Well, there's a little snapshot of his psyche right there.

Frasier: Look, can we just get back to the subject at hand, please?
Martin: What are you so antsy about?
Frasier: Dad, Wilford S. Boone-
Roz: Big Willy.
Frasier: Please, Roz, I just can't say that yet, all right?

Frasier: So what are his interests, Roz?
Roz: Well, it's all in there. He likes whittling, rodeos, the novels of Zane Grey...
Martin: Gee, Fras. It's like you two were separated at birth.

Roz: I think if we really want to impress Big Willy we should think of some Western theme to do for the show today.
Frasier: Great idea, Roz. Why don't we just start the show off with a segment on how to get in touch with your inner young'un.

Bulldog: Well that's what you deserve, trying to suck up to some senile old coot.
[An older man wearing a cowboy hat enters the booth]
Bulldog: Hell, he probably can't eat anything but strained peas and farina.
Frasier: Uh, Mr. Boone?
Mr. Boone: Yeah, that's right.
Frasier: Pleasure to see you. I'm Dr. Frasier Crane. This is Roz Doyle, Gil Chesterton and-
Bulldog: I'm Skippy the lunch boy. So, uh, that's two strained peas and a farina for the big guy.

Gil: Oh, uh, Skippy? Change my order. I've got a sudden hankering for baby-back ribs and corn bread.

Mr. Boone: Oh, I've been looking for you Dr. Crane. I have a little problem and they told me you're just the fella who could fix it. Oh, I hope I'm not imposing.
Frasier: Oh, no, don't be silly, Mr. Boone.
Mr. Boone: Well, actually I prefer "Big Willy."
Frasier: Don't be silly, Big Willy.

Bebe: I'm sorry I can't stay and help you with your paper, Niles, wedding preparations and all. But I'll
remember those helpful hints. It's exercise, gum, and lots of water.
[Smoke starts emanating from Bebe's purse]
Niles: Water should come in handy for putting out those pesky purse fires.

Bebe: More!
Daphne: What, again?
Martin: That's her third serving.
Frasier: Now, now, Dad, it's flattering to Daphne that Bebe finds her food so tasty.
Bebe: I'm orally fixated. I'd eat a half-stunned wharf rat if you put some gravy on it.
Daphne: I'll bear that in mind come breakfast time.