Martin: All right. Here we go: cold cuts, pizza rolls, deviled eggs, pork roll-ups. All right.
Frasier: Yes, the ideal buffet for a group of heavyset men over sixty. I assume everyone's affairs are in order.

Frank: OK, ante up, everybody. Seven-card stud, high-low, chips to win, eight and below, the wheel is no good.
Frasier: Perfect.
Leo: No check and raise. Three buck limit.
Frasier: Sounds good.
Roz: You're lost, aren't you?
Frasier: Like a Bedouin in a sandstorm.

Frasier: Good evening, Daphne. Wow, you look smashing.
Daphne: Oh, thanks. I was just on my way out.
Frasier: What, to the "Fox & Whistle"? I'll go with you. Let me just grab me mac and me brolly and Bob's your uncle.
Daphne: But wait, I thought you were going to the opera with your brother?
Frasier: Oh, no, no. That's tomorrow night. Gee, I hope Winston's at the pub, I owe him five quid from the other night.

Frasier: Oh, Niles, you can't stay mad at me. I promise I'll make it up to you. Press for the lift, won't you? Oh, don't look at me that way, that's what they call it.

Daphne: Why is it so bloody dark in here? It's bad enough I have to stay home all evening, I'm not going blind as well.
Martin: What? You're staying in tonight?
Daphne: I don't have much choice, since that son of yours decided to go to my pub again. I mean, imagine being so dense that he can completely ruin someone else's evening and not even be aware of it. This wax is dripping! [blows out candles]
Martin: Well, have you tried maybe dropping a hint? [pops open the champagne loudly]
Daphne: Oh, believe me, I've dropped plenty. They go right over his head! Oh, I'll have a glass of that.

Frasier: Oh, this is a real nice surprise, Daphne. You must be feeling better. Here we are. You make a toast.
Daphne: I don't want you coming down here ever again.
Frasier: Well, I guess "Here's mud in your eye" sounded kind of mean the first time, too.

Frasier: Daphne, this bar has filled up a void in my life. I'm not just going to throw that away just because you beat me here by a fortnight.
Daphne: Stop talking like us!

Frasier: You know, Daphne, if I didn't know better, I'd think you were trying to hustle me.
Daphne: Oh, not at all. I may have played a game or two of feathers in my day.
Frasier: A game or two? You've just made just about the most difficult shot on the board.
Daphne: Actually, that's only the second most difficult. [Frasier takes his shot] That's the most difficult.
Frasier: Come to think of it, there might have been a dart board in that bar in Boston.

Frasier: You don't have to rub it in. Anyway, I know I owe you an apology for the other night so, here. I've brought you a peace offering.
Niles: "Orpheus & Eurydice". Thank you Frasier. Oh, the Glyndeborne production! I don't have this one.
Frasier: You're going to love it. The choice is particularly moving, and Janet Baker's Act Three aria is...
[cut to Frasier and Niles' prep school days]
Young Frasier: -is quite simply the best contralto solo I've ever heard.
Young Niles: Thank you, Frasier. I don't have "Orpheus & Eurydice" on 8-track yet. But I'm surprised to see you. No woodworking club today?
Young Frasier: Oh, to tell you the truth, I've grown tired of that crowd, with their stupid bookends and birdhouses. As soon as I've finished shellacking my shoetrees I'm out of there.
Young Niles: You got thrown out, didn't you?
Young Frasier: I did not.
Young Niles: Frasier, I can see right through you.
Young Frasier: What are you a psychiatrist?
Young Niles: Oh, no, I'm not a psychiatrist but I can see it in your face...

Daphne: Suddenly I'm not feeling so well.
Frasier: Oh, really? I hope it's not that flu that's going around.
Daphne: I think I'll just stay home tonight.
Frasier: Yes, well, that's probably for the best. You've got to be careful what you bring down to the pub with you.
Daphne: Tell me about it.