Niles: I'm about to defraud the United States Immigration Department. Not just me, my father and my older brother. People who should be role models for me. It's not my fault; I'm the product of a bad environment.

Niles: Don't you snap at her, Frasier, you're a psychiatrist. You should be in better control of your emotions. Oh, my God, there's the border! I can see the line of cars!

Daphne: It's too late to turn back. I say we make a run for it.
Frasier: Oh yes, great idea. A high-speed chase in an eight-ton motor home. It'll make an amusing anecdote for the border guard newsletter.

Frasier: You know, Dad, there's no reason for us to cut our trip short. According to this map we're not that far from Yellowstone.
Martin: Oh, I always wanted to see Old Faithful!
Frasier: Me, too!
Martin: If you wanted a real adventure we could drop these two sleeping beauties off at home first.
Frasier: You mean it? Just the two of us alone?
Martin: Yeah!
Frasier: Just you and me, father and son.
Martin: Yeah! You and me, camping out in Yellowstone, all alone.
Frasier: All by ourselves.
Martin: Well, you know, it'd be an awful shame if Daphne didn't get to see those Indian paint pots.
Frasier: Yes, of course.
Martin: They are a real miracle of nature.
Frasier: Yeah. Wouldn't be fair to leave Niles just to ramble around that old house all by himself.
Martin: Maris out of town? That'd be cruel.
Frasier: Yeah, absolutely.

Martin: You really want to go on a trip with me?
Frasier: Yes, I do. I'll go anywhere you want to. Anywhere.
Martin: Okay. Well, maybe I'm not as sophisticated as you, but I think I should see America first.
Frasier: Great. We're Americans. We should see America.
Martin: And I want to see it in a Winnebago.
Frasier: A Winnebago! Hot damn, that has a real ring to it!

Frasier: You know, Dad, I was wondering. What inspired you to choose that uniquely American man-made wonder, Mount Rushmore?
Martin: Well, we've got a week off, right? That's as far as we can go in three and a half days and still make it back. We get there, get out, walk around the Valley of the Presidents, drive back, boom! Another fine landmark under our belts.

Martin: All right, now don't panic. There's got to be an access road leading back onto that turn off. [scouring his map] Where is it? Where is it! Oh, it's always in the crack!
Frasier: So is life, Dad.

Frasier: Okay, Dad, alright, you're good here. You're good on my side, Dad. All right, just go ahead, ease it right over, it's never to early to change lanes. Oh, my God, it must be genetic.

Guard: Is this your vehicle, sir?
Frasier: Oh, no. Yes, yes. Well, I rented it! It's American-made, you see, I always look for that union label.

Niles: Oh, Winnebago Boy? Make sure to hang a lot of beach chairs on the back and give it a really cute name like... "The Whoopin' Cranes!"