‘The Matchmaker’
Season 2, Episode 3 - Aired October 4, 1994
After Daphne admits she is lonely, Frasier attempts to set her up with his new station manager, who eagerly accepts his invitation to dinner.
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: Does he ask permission first? Oh, no, he just barges in and says he's set me up with God-knows-who, and I'm supposed to turn cartwheels like I'm bloody Cinderella.
Frasier: Daphne, will you please relax? Look, I told you, this is not a set-up. Tom doesn't even know you'll be here.
Daphne: Oh, an ambush then. Much nicer. My girlfriends in Manchester used to set me up all the time. And it was always some gangly bounder with a boarding-house reach. And he wasn't going for the Colman's Hot Mustard, if you know what I mean!
Quote from Martin
Daphne: I know, you have a no-smoking rule. I'm sorry. But every now and again I feel a bit tense and I find a ciggy can be very soothing.
Martin: Oh, yeah, it's real soothing. It only should be about an hour before my heart stops fibrillating.
Quote from Roz
Frasier: Niles, you are completely out of line here. And Roz, he does have a point. You and Daphne are entirely different kinds of women. Whilst Daphne is very shy and inexperienced, you are more... Well, a lot more- Well, actually, you'd be hard pressed to find anyone who's more-
Roz: Oh, I get it! Not one man I've ever dated is good enough for Miss Daphne, is that what you're trying to say?
Frasier: No, it's what I'm trying not to say, and you're not making it very easy.
Roz: Oh, I'm out of here.
Frasier: Oh, Roz, please wait.
Roz: Oh no, I can't stay, the fleet's in!
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: So, what do you think of this place?
Tom: That's a hell of a view!
Frasier: It's even better from the bedroom.
Tom: Why don't we just start with the drink? [Frasier laughs]
Quote from Daphne
Daphne: Oh, this is strange, I'm picking up a vibration from your coat.
Tom: Excuse me?
Frasier: Yes, well, Daphne feels she possesses psychic powers. You know those English eccentrics.
Daphne: Oh, you've just been through a very painful break-up, haven't you?
Tom: Yes! [then, to Frasier] Oh, wait a minute, you told her that, didn't you?
Frasier: No, no.
Daphne: There was a bitter dispute about ownership of opera recordings.
Tom: Whoa!
Quote from Martin
Martin: Hey, Frasier, I don't have to put a tie on for this joker, do I? [sees Tom]
Frasier: Tom, this is my father, Martin Crane.
Tom: Tom Duran, nice to meet you.
Martin: Sorry about that "joker" business. I call everybody joker. Jerk. Pinhead. Bozo.
Frasier: And amazingly he's free for dinner on short notice.
Quote from Niles
Daphne: Tom, I could use a little hand in the kitchen...
Niles: No, no, sit Daphne. After all that cooking you must be [looks at her dress] absolutely strapless.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Daphne, I think a little after dinner music would be appropriate.
Daphne: Good idea. [she goes back inside]
Frasier: She's, er, quite a woman, isn't she?
Tom: Yes, she's really something. Um, Frasier, I was wondering.
Frasier: Yes?
Tom: Do you think before the evening's over we could get a little one-on-one time?
Frasier: Oh, I think I can arrange that.
Quote from Daphne
Frasier: I really wish you'd tell me about it.
Daphne: Well, if you must know, it's my love life.
Frasier: Really? You've been seeing a man?
Daphne: Only when I close my eyes and concentrate.
Quote from Daphne
Frasier: Ah, I see. You're going through a bit of a drought, eh?
Daphne: No wonder. The rare times I do go out, it's usually with your father. People see us and assume I'm his daughter, or else his girlfriend. Either way, it's like having my own personal can of stud repellent.