Frasier: This pinhead is president and I can't even get on the board.
Ferguson: And what will you be sending to congratulate Mr. Murchie, sir?
Frasier: Curses and epithets is all he'll get from me!
Ferguson: Quite right. However, a well-chosen gift might draw the eye of Mr. Murchie as he considers a replacement for his now-vacated seat on the board.
Frasier: Well. If it'll make you happy, Ferguson, let's send him a bottle of Chateau Beliveau.
Ferguson: If I may, sir. I've overheard Mr. Murchie speak fondly of the family villa in Umbria. He may consider a wine from that region especially thoughtful.
Frasier: It's a little on the nose, but fine.

Ferguson: Miss Moon, please understand that this is not meant to be cruel. But I've witnessed much heartbreak in my career, and I've come to know that an employee-employer romance has little chance of success. The status relationship will always exist.
Daphne: Oh, thank goodness I'm not as cynical as you are. True love is stronger than status. I don't care what anyone says or thinks. Niles and I are in love. [turns to leave, returns] And don't spread that around. It's a secret.

Frasier: So Niles, you're awfully chipper today.
Niles: And why not? Daphne and I are going out on a date.
Frasier: Wha-? Niles, what if somebody sees you and reports back to Mel?
Niles: Mel be damned. Daphne and I are going to have a romantic evening together at my apartment. Not only that, she's going in my car, in my backseat, under a pile of my coats and blankets.

Ferguson: I hope everything meets with your approval, sir.
Frasier: Oh yes, indeed. Indeed. Where's Dad's chair?
Ferguson: I took the liberty of removing it for the party.
Frasier: But Dad'll be furious. And I completely forgot, he'll be here. Swigging from a can and guessing women's weight. I'll be blackballed. [As Martin enters the room:] Oh, Dad, uh, listen, about tonight-
Martin: Yeah, I'd love to hobnob and whatnot, but the towncar's waiting to take me to the game. Thanks for the tickets, Fras. Fergie?
Ferguson: Your meatloaf sandwich, sir, and your finger. [to Frasier] I hope you don't mind, sir.
Frasier: Not at all.

Mr. Murchie: Frasier, this party is a triumph. I shouldn't be telling you this, but if my straw poll is any indication, we may be seeing you at the next board meeting.
Frasier: Oh well, I-I hope you don't think that's why I did this. But it's certainly a nice fringe benefit.
Mr. Murchie: I'm no farmer, Crane, but I can smell manure a mile away. You'll be a welcome addition.

Ferguson: Your wrap, madam. Dr. Crane thanks you for coming.
Frasier: Ferguson. Ferguson, what in blue blazes are you doing?
Ferguson: Perhaps to spare you some embarrassment, sir, I took the liberty.
Frasier: Stop. You're taking far too much liberty with the liberty-taking! Please, just see that everyone has some champagne.
Ferguson: Sir.
Frasier: There's no need to leave. Uh, I would like to propose a toast...
Niles: [o.s.] No Mel, why don't you listen for once? I'm through.
Mel: [o.s.] I'll tell you when you're through, you spineless twit, and you're not even close.
Frasier: Opera time, opera time! On to the show!

Niles: That's it, Mel. I'm sick of these games.
Mel: Niles, don't make a scene.
Niles: I don't care! I love Daphne, and I'm not putting her through this torture another second. This sham of a marriage is over!

Roz: Oh, come on, Frasier, you don't want to spend the evening with those snobs anyway.
Mr. Worth: [opening the door] Coming, Roz?
Roz: Yeah, I'll be right there.

Niles: Frasier, I'm-I'm sorry I ruined your evening.
Frasier: It's all right, Niles. It's a small price to pay to finally see you and Daphne together.
Niles: It's true. We're free! [Daphne laughs] No more hiding. Where do you want to go? Dinner? Dancing? London? Paris?
Daphne: Why don't we go for a walk?
Niles: Even better.
Ferguson: If you'll allow me. [bringing their jackets]
Niles: Thank you, Ferguson.
Ferguson: My pleasure, sir.
Daphne: Thank you, Ferguson.
Ferguson: It was my privilege, Miss Moon.

Frasier: Now, if you'll excuse me, I've had rather a difficult evening. Think I'll just go take a sad soak in the tub.
Ferguson: Sir, after such an evening, it's not right for a man to draw his own bath. So, if I may take the liberty?
Frasier: Carry on, Ferguson.