‘Slow Tango in South Seattle’
Season 2, Episode 1 - Aired September 20, 1994
After a book is published that was inspired by a daliance Frasier had with an older woman during his youth, he is angry with the author and with himself.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Thomas Jay Fallow!
Thomas: Frasier! Frasier Crane, I can't believe it!
Frasier: Well, I see my name hasn't entirely escaped your sieve-like memory.
Thomas: My what?
Frasier: Well, it didn't make it into your list of acknowledgements, you- You... egomaniacal thief!
Thomas: You read my book.
Frasier: I didn't have to read it. I lived it. Not that anybody would know that from reading your three pages of acknowledgements, in which you mention everyone from your kindergarten teacher to the man who designed the typeface. But no mention of me? No, I'm only the man who gave you the story which you have
ruthlessly merchandised into this million-dollar treacle machine! [silence] I'm finished now.
Thomas: I'm so sorry. I don't know how I could have been so thoughtless. [crying] I owe you everything!
Quote from Martin
Niles: Frasier, congratulations. Maris was listening to "Book Chat" during her seaweed wrap. I heard Thomas Jay Fallow acknowledge his enormous debt to you.
Frasier: Yes, I had a little chat with him this afternoon.
Niles: Did he seem properly contrite?
Frasier: I made him cry.
Martin: That's my boy!
Quote from Frasier
Roz: You used to drink with Thomas Jay Fallow?
Frasier: Well, actually I spent a lot of my time helping him get through his writer's block. In future I'll remember to use my powers for good and not for evil.
Quote from Martin
Martin: Boy, this really fries me. You know, that woman taking advantage of our kid. Not to mention I was putting out ten bucks a week for piano lessons so you could get your hedge trimmed!
Quote from Gil
Roz: Oh come on, Frasier, how did you expect me not to tell anybody? You can't keep something like that all bottled up. I only told one person.
Gil: Hello Frasier, Roz.
Frasier: Hi, Gil.
Gil: Oh, I was just finishing my restaurant review for my show this afternoon when I came across a perfect sandwich named after you, at Rosenthal's Deli. "Frasier Crane's Double Decker." It consisted of aged pheasant, spring chicken and, of course, plenty of tongue.
Quote from Niles
Niles: No, no, no. Just listen. You thought you were angry at Thomas Fallow for failing to thank you for the contribution you made to his life. But perhaps the person you're really angry at is yourself. You never thanked Miss Warner for the contribution she made to your life.
Frasier: I was only seventeen years old, I'm sure she understood.
Niles: Perhaps she didn't. She was a vulnerable, lonely, middle-aged woman. It is possible that her feelings for you ran deeper than you realized? Feelings which you crushed when you disappeared without so much as a thank you or a goodbye.
Frasier: Yes well, thank you and goodbye!
Niles: All right. Fine, I'll just leave you with this thought: your encounter with Thomas Jay Fallow was unsatisfactory because it failed to provide you with the closure you were seeking. For that you will have to make amends with Miss Warner. Aha.
Quote from Frasier
Ms. Warner: So, we know each other?
Frasier: Well... We were friends. More than friends, actually. You really don't remember?
Ms. Warner: I'm trying!
Frasier: You must have some recollection. A fair-haired boy outside your door. At the piano? On the piano?
Ms. Warner: No, I'm sorry.
Frasier: Well, listen, before the memories come flooding back to you, I should tell you that we had a romance that didn't have the happiest of endings.
Ms. Warner: Oh!
Frasier: That's why I'm here. You see, our last evening together we "walked through a summer storm and I kissed the raindrops on your nose and promised we'd always be together." And I broke that promise. You helped a shy adolescent take his first uncertain steps towards becoming a man and how did I repay that kindness? By running off and leaving you with nothing but your memories.
Ms. Warner: And not many of those either! [laughs]
Frasier: Well, can you ever forgive me?
Ms. Warner: Oh, you're so sweet. Of course I can forgive you.
Frasier: Thank you, thank you.
Quote from Niles
Niles: Ah. Doing your exercises I see?
Daphne: Yes, and if someone doesn't let us get on with them, he's gonna get a little spank on his fanny.
Niles: Well... Don't let me.... unless you want to!
Quote from Martin
Martin: So this whole book is about the night you conceived Frederick.
Frasier: Very funny, dad. I'll have you know that wasn't my first time.
Martin: Hey, I'm happy to know it wasn't your only time!