Martin: [to Eddie] Hey, you're lookin' a little under the weather. You all right?
Frasier: He most certainly is not. He dined on that lovely can of bacon fat you've been hiding under the sink.
Martin: Oh, geez. Poor little guy. You know, bacon grease is bad for dogs.
Frasier: Ironic, considering its vast health benefits for humans.

Frasier: So, Randy, where were we?
Randy: Your brother was just telling me how Maris is coping with jail. So, is it true that Maris tried to break out?
Niles: Oh, no, no, no. Her eyebrow pencil simply rolled out of her cell and she went to get it. It's really the jail's fault for making those bars so far apart.

Kenny: [on the phone] No, he'll make for a great profile: SeaBeas record holder, doctor, big ladies man, the whole ball of wax. Well, you can ask him yourself.
Frasier: [taking the phone] Hello? Yes, well, when would be a good time for you? Oh, I've just had the greatest idea: Why don't you interview me while we're at the SeaBee Awards? Yes, it will be a freewheeling chat against a glittering backdrop. Splendid! I will see you anon.
Kenny: [taking back the phone] Hey. No, he always talks like that.