Niles: Are you insane? This is the Safari Club. These are the people who introduced badminton to Devil's Island. Rumors have it they challenged the lepers of Molokai to a three-legged race.

Martin: Just as long as we've got enough ice. You got four bags, right?
Daphne: No, I got two.
Martin: Two? I told you to get four bags.
Daphne: Oh, here we go.
Martin: You never under-budget on the ice. You never know, you might get a lot more rocks drinkers than you expected. Or ice chewers.

Niles: What are you doing here?
Frasier: Wishing I had taken the stairs.

Niles: Here's something interesting: I think I just swallowed my tongue.

Niles: Frasier, I have to ask a small favor. I need you to create a distraction, while I have a sex change and move to Europe.

Frasier: You know what? I was just heading down. We're out of ice.
Noel: Oh, not anymore. I brought a twenty-pound bag. Just call me Noel Shempsky, Party Saver.

Martin: Snow, sleet hail, frost, frostbite, gangrene.
Frasier: Gangrene?!

Bulldog: Second syllable. Shrink. Doctor. Dork.

Frasier: In fact, it's turning out to be the worst birthday party I've had since I was eight, when I pinned the tail on Sally Annunciato. She shoved a cupcake down my shorts.

Frasier: Well, I could drive you.
Tricia: But it's only twenty minutes to the airport, it's hardly worth it.
Frasier: I wasn't talking about the airport.
Tricia: What?
Frasier: I could have you in Spokane in six hours. That'll certainly give us enough time to get acquainted.
Tricia: Oh, no, I can't ask you to do that.
Frasier: But you didn't ask. I offered. Look, I want to do it. Here.
Tricia: That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard.
Frasier: Well, the way I see it, one of two things can happen. Either we'll discover that we've foolishly built each other up in our own imaginations because we've had so much trouble getting together. Or, this could end up being a story we tell our grandchildren. Personally, I can't wait to find out which.