Frasier: Oh my God. Breathtaking.
Niles: Well, don't be greedy. Your turn was over forty seconds ago.
Frasier: All right, all right, Niles. All right. It's the penthouse unit, second window from the right.
Niles: Oh, mama!
Martin: You two know that what you're doing isn't right, don't you?
Frasier: We're simply admiring a very rare Brancusi armchair, not a naked woman.
Martin: That's what I'm talking about.

Martin: You're home kind of early, aren't you?
Daphne: A bit. Something, sort of happened.
Martin: Oh, yeah? What?
Daphne: Well, Joe and I were having dinner. Everything was nice as could be, and I said, "Don't you like your potato?" And he said, "No, I'm not hungry for potato just now." So I said, "Well, if you don't like your potato you're welcome to try my potato"-
Frasier: Daphne? Could we hasten to the post-potato portion of the dialogue?

Daphne: Well, that's when he said it. He said we'd been "on-again, off-again" for too long without making anything permanent, so maybe it was best if we just broke up.
Martin: Oh, gosh, I'm sorry. You're sure taking it well. Boy, if you'd have told me Joe would end up dumping you tonight, I'd have been—
Daphne: [breaking down] Oh, God. He dumped me.

Martin: Now, Daphne, it's all right. You're better off without him. That guy was a bum.
Daphne: He was the best thing in my life.
Martin: Oh. Well, maybe you two weren't meant for each other, you know? I mean, you're a champagne-and-caviar sort of gal, he's a meat-and-potatoes guy.
Daphne: [crying at the memory] Potatoes!

Roz: Hey, Daphne!
Daphne: [crying] Roz...
Roz: Oh, my God, you got dumped! [to Frasier] Did you make her answer the door?
Frasier: It's what she does.

Daphne: I'm sorry about this. I guess I'm still at the point where I can't hear his name without crying.
Niles: You hear that, everyone? No one mention the name "Joe!" [Niles moves in to comfort Daphne, but Roz handles it.]

Martin: You know, if you took an interest in sports, I bet you'd end up enjoying it. It's got drama, it's got graceful stuff...
Frasier: Thank you, Dad, but frankly I'm quite satisfied with the likes of Pavorotti's Pagliacci. You have your big man in the paint, I have mine.

[Frasier opens the door to Niles, who is holding a colorful bouquet of flowers]
Frasier: Niles.
Niles: Frasier.
Frasier: Either your boutonniere is way over the top, or you're here to execute last night's plan.

Niles: Look, I know I don't have your total support in this, but... how shall I put this?
Frasier: You don't care?
Niles: If you could work the phrase "rat's ass" into there, you'd have it.

Niles: They're for Daphne. I'm going to tell her how I feel about her.
Martin: Oh, that's great, Niles.
Niles: "That's great?"
Martin: Well, yeah. You're single now. She's single. What's the problem?
Niles: That's so funny.
Martin: What is?
Niles: That's just not the reaction I expected. I thought you'd say something more Dad-like, like-
Martin: You're out of your mind?
Niles: [laughing] Yes.
Martin: She's never gonna go for it in a million years?
Niles: [laughing] Stop it. Stop it.
Martin: Someday you'll gonna look back on this as the stupidest, most idiotic-
Niles: I said stop it, Dad.