‘Mixed Doubles’
Season 4, Episode 6 - Aired November 19, 1996
Niles decides to tell Daphne how he feels about her after she is dumped, but Frasier advises him to think it over for a day. In the meantime, Roz takes Daphne to a singles bar where she meets someone.
Quote from Frasier
Niles: "Give it a day, Niles." I believe that was your brilliant advice?
Frasier: I'm sorry, Niles, I really am. I don't know what to say.
Niles: Too bad you didn't have that problem last night.
Martin: Don't let it get you down.
Niles: I'm not going to. I still have a fallback position. I'm going to call Roz and have her take me to that bar tonight.
Frasier: Niles, really. A singles bar? Please, you're not thinking clearly. It's not exactly your arena, is it? Listen, why
don't you just give it a day and think it over... [Niles glares at Frasier] Here, let me dial that for you.
Quote from Niles
Niles: Well, I'm here. I forgot to gargle, I'm wearing mismatched socks, and I'm so nervous I could wet myself.
Roz: Well, at least we have your opening line down.
Quote from Frasier
[Frasier is in a staring contest with Eddie]
Martin: You're wasting your time.
Frasier: No, I'm not.
Martin: You're not gonna win.
Frasier: It's time he learned what it's like to be stared at all the time. Bring it on, Buster, you got nothing. You can't touch me, I'm- Gaah! It's like his eyes turned into sorcerer's pinwheels and started spinning.
Quote from Niles
Martin: Come on, Niles, it's funny.
Niles: No. It's not remotely funny. Frasier talked me out of approaching Daphne on the same night she fell for that man.
Frasier: You can't possibly be mad at me.
Niles: No, no, Frasier, I'm grateful. Come here. [grabs a kitchen utensil] Let me show you how grateful I am.
Quote from Niles
Daphne: Isn't Rodney just great? You know, I think it was the moment I broke up with Joe that I heard a voice saying, "Daphne, it's time you went for a completely new type of man."
[Daphne leaves. Niles grabs another kitchen utensil]
Niles: You're a dead man!
Quote from Niles
[Frasier arrives at the coffeehouse, where Niles is already seated]
Frasier: Oh, for heaven's sake, Niles. You don't take my calls, you ignore me. For God's sake, it's the behavior of a pouting adolescent. Are you quite finished now? You put gum on my chair, didn't you?
Niles: Yep.
Quote from Frasier
Frasier: Niles, listen. I am terribly sorry if I steered you wrong. But just think about it. You do have a wonderful new woman in your life now, don't you?
Niles: Yes, I- I suppose I do.
Frasier: And Adelle does make you very happy, doesn't she?
Niles: Yes. Yes, she does.
Frasier: Well, then, if you've ever taken any of my advice before, take this: Adelle could very well be the path to your happiness.
[Frasier sees Rodney and Adelle arrive at the coffeehouse together.]
Frasier: But let's say I'm wrong...
Quote from Niles
Niles: But I'm mainly sorry for Daphne. How do you intend to handle that small matter?
Rodney: I was planning on telling her this evening at Granville's. We're meeting for drinks.
Niles: Granville's. Why don't you do her a favor? Let me tell her. It might be better coming from a friend.
Rodney: Yes, perhaps you're right. Please tell her that I'm sorry. Sometimes, when a man meets the woman that he's meant to be with, there's nothing he can do to resist it. I hope Daphne understands that.
Niles: I hope she understands it too.
Quote from Niles
Niles: I mean, wouldn't it be better if we discussed what's in our futures?
Daphne: I suppose so. I'll tell you one thing. After the run I've had, I pity the next man I date. I'd probably rip him to
shreds.
Niles: What about the man after that?
Quote from Niles
Daphne: You know, it's funny when you think about it. The two of us coming to this same singles bar this week?
Why, this was the very stool I was on when I met Rodney.
Niles: I was sitting here when I met Adelle. [Daphne laughs] What?
Daphne: Oh, I was just thinking. If it'd been a different time in both our lives, we might actually have met. How do you suppose that would have gone?
Niles: What, our conversation?
Daphne: Yes, go on. Just for fun. We could both use a smile.
Niles: Well, uh, first I would have said, "Is this seat taken?" And you would have said, "no." You would have said, "My name is Daphne." and I would have said "My name is Niles." And then I would have said, "What are you doing for the rest of your life?"
Daphne: You always know just the right thing to say. Oh, I love you, Dr. Crane.
Niles: I love you too, Daphne.