Roz: I need to go over to "Notions" and try to find something for Calvin, the security guard.
Frasier: Oh, what are you getting him?
Roz: If I knew I wouldn't be going to "Notions."

Roz: It's a madhouse in there!
Frasier: Roz.
Roz: People pushing and shoving for nose-hair clippers. Is there a nasal hair epidemic I don't know about?

Sales Associate: Here's your sweater.
Roz: Is he talking to you?
Frasier: No. No, no, he's talking...
Helen: He's talking to me. It's for my niece. But I'm a bit worried about the size. [to Roz] You know, she's just about your height. Do you mind my asking, would this fit you?
Roz: Mmm. That's a little big for me.
Helen: What about the color? A little blah?
Roz: Personally, I like the blue.
Helen: I agree. Thank you so much. I will take a smaller size in the blue, and please gift-wrap it.
Sales Associate: Coming right up.

Frasier: Oh, Roz, it looks like "Notions" has thinned out.
Roz: Oh good. So you think Calvin will like the nose hair clippers?
Frasier: I think we can be sure he doesn't own a pair.

Frasier: So, your mother tells me that you're a lawyer.
Faye: Well, that's typical. I was a lawyer and I quit two years ago, and now I'm a pastry chef.
Frasier: Really?
Faye: Yes. I work in a little French restaurant in town. Maybe you've heard of it? Le Cigaré Volant.
Frasier: My God, it's one of my favorites. I had dinner there last Friday night.
Faye: Well, I worked there last Friday night. What did you have?
Frasier: The Grand Marquis Soufflé.
Faye: I made that.
Frasier: Well, it was poetry on a plate.
Faye: Thank you. You didn't happen to find my earring in it, did you? ... I'm kidding.

Frasier: You know, suddenly I'm glad that your mother is as pushy as she is. It's funny, though, you're nothing like her.
Faye: That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.

Daphne: Dr. Crane, can I ask a favor? What are you doing for the next ten nights, because my-
Niles: Yes. ... Excuse me, finish the question.

Niles: I thought she was off to Florida with her mother.
Frasier: Yes, she is. They're both popping by on the way to the airport. I guess someone wanted to rack up a few more frequent Frasier miles. [laughs]
Niles: You don't ever actually say those things to the woman, do you?
Frasier: Oh, no, no.

Daphne: Oh good, Dr. Crane, you're here.
Niles: Well, yes, the show starts in half an hour.
Daphne: Yeah, could you give me a hand? I still have to sew the chains to Jacob Marley's tux for the dance number.
Niles: Oh, yeah, happy to.
Frasier: Jacob Marley? They're doing "A Christmas Carol", too?
Niles: No, they're not. They worked him into the nativity scene.

Martin: Hey, Fras, where's a good spot for Rudolph this year?
Frasier: Dad. Please, I thought we had an agreement about the decorations.
Martin: I know, but what's Christmas without Rudolph?
Frasier: He is not even one of the original reindeer.
Martin: Well, do the others have a song?
Frasier: Look, I'm not having this discussion again.
Martin: Oh, because you know I'm right.