[After Faye sees Frasier has a Christmas wreath and learns he isn't Jewish]
Frasier: Is there a problem?
Faye: Uh, for me, no, but my mother is another story, and here I was wondering what we'd talk about on the seven hour flight to Miami.
Frasier: You know what, I can just take this down.
Faye: Uh, no, no, no, no, I have to stop being a child about these things. If she's upset, she's upset.
Frasier: How many stopovers do you have?
Faye: Two.
Frasier: I'll take it down.
Faye: Thank you.

Frasier: Helen, hi.
Helen: Oh, what a beautiful apartment you have.
Frasier: Thank you very much.
[Eddie jumps up on the couch in a Santa Claus outfit]
Frasier: Get out!
[Eddie scampers away]
Helen: What?
Frasier: -of that coat already!

Niles: What's going on?
Frasier: Faye's mother thinks that we're Jewish, just play along.
Niles: Okay.
Niles: Why?
Frasier: Well, it's important to Faye, Faye is important to me. Do you think you can pull it off?
Niles: No problem. [checks oven] Ooh, ham!
Frasier: Niles.

Niles: Wait, Frasier, is that for Helen?
Frasier: Yes.
Niles: What if she's expecting Jewish wine?
Frasier: Gosh, I'm afraid I don't have any of that on hand.
Niles: It's all right, it's easy enough. It's just like regular wine plus a little bit of this... [adds sugar] Try that.
Frasier: It's dreadful.
Niles: Perfect.

Martin: Hey Fras, you know, since it's the night before...
Frasier & Niles: Dad!
Martin: Oh, great, would it be a crime for somebody to tell me we had guests here? Hi, I'm Marty Crane. I'm Frasier's dad. Although you'd never guess it from the way I'm treated like a second-class citizen around here. But as long as Frasier's happy, why should my feelings matter?

Niles: So, who dropped out?
Daphne: Mr. Blanchard.
Niles: Oy.

Frasier: Well, you know, it's been great spending some time with the two of you, I wish you could stay longer.
Helen: Well, actually we can. I just called the airline. The plane is delayed an hour.
Frasier: Well, isn't that good news?
Helen: You know, I hate to be forward but I'd love to taste whatever smells so wonderful in that kitchen.
Frasier: And I would love to give you a taste, except it isn't done yet. [oven timer chimes] Well, more good news.

Frasier: Niles, what are you doing here?
Niles: Well, the minute I got within ten feet of the hay for the manger scene, my allergies kicked in. I think I left my nasal spray here somewhere.
Frasier: I am terribly sorry to tell you this, but you've got to get the hell out of here.
Niles: I don't think that kind of language is appropriate.
Frasier: Oh, just shut up.