Frasier: Dad, Dad, in Niles's defense, after four hours your "ba-bap-ba-ba-a-a-a"s sound a lot like your "scoopety, boop, bop, bam".

Niles: The ashtray I made at camp?
Frasier: [imitating Aunt Louise] "Is that the best you can do? It wobbles!"
Niles: [Looking at her urn] I wish I had that ashtray now.

Niles: "You are the song my soul would sing."
Frasier: Very poetic.
Niles: "You make my heart go ring-a ding-ding."
Martin: That was during Frank's ring-a-ding period.

Frasier: Well, we have time for one more caller. Roz?
Roz: We have Ed on line three. [Roz starts eating]
Frasier: Hello, Ed, I'm listening. Ed? Ed? Well, we seem to have lost Ed. Let's take another caller. On line four we have.... Roz?
[Roz is eating and can't respond]
Frasier: Roz? We have... [Roz points to her eye] Eye... [Roz leans to the left] Lean. Eileen. Hello Eileen, I'm listening.

Eileen: "Dr. Crane, I've been very happily married for twenty years and I wouldn't dream of cheating, but lately when we're making love I find myself fantasizing about people other than my husband."
Frasier: Well, that's perfectly normal. It's quite normal to spice up one's love life by imagining a tryst with, oh, a sports figure or a movie star or-
Eileen: "Or a radio psychiatrist?"
Frasier: Excuse me?
Eileen: "It's your voice, Dr. Crane. You must have the most sensuous voice on earth."
Frasier: [sultry voice] Oh, I don't know, Eileen.
Eileen: "I've never seen your picture. Would you mind describing yourself?"
Frasier: Oh, well I don't really think that's appropriate...
Roz: I'll do it.
Frasier: Roz, I don't think-
Roz: He's about six-one, with a granite jaw and the broad shoulders of a marine. He's been wearing his hair short lately but that only accentuates his cobalt blue eyes, his chiseled cheekbones and his full, provocative lips.
Eileen: "Wow! Thanks, Roz. And thank you, Dr. Crane. I'll be thinking if you tonight. With any luck twice!"
Frasier: Well, this is Dr. Frasier Crane feeling a little red in his chiseled cheeks. Till tomorrow then, this is KACL 780 AM.

Frasier: Dad, I don't mean to criticize, but you know that "hidy-hady?" It sounds like Cab Calloway sung backwards.
Martin: You got any better suggestions?
Niles: Er, yes, yes. "She's like a wood, all cool and shady!"
Frasier: No, no. "She makes the bravest cat go 'fraidy!"
Daphne: I've got it. "She could have slept with Warren Beatty!"