Martin: Come on, birthday boy, I haven't given you your present yet. [to Frasier and Niles] I got him a brand-new rubber eeseburger-chay.

Frasier: I'll thank you to stop with your sniggering insinuations that Caitlin and I share nothing but the physical. There are many things that we do share. [opens door] Caitlin!
Niles: [to Daphne] Now they're sharing a Tic-Tac.

Daphne: Hello. Don't worry, we'll be out of your way in a minute, just as soon as I can tear Mr. Crane away from Eddie.
Frasier: Yes, he's having a little birthday party for his dog.
Caitlin: Oh, how old is he?
Frasier: Too old to be having a birthday party for his dog.

Martin: What's the matter?
Frasier: It's Caitlin. I'm in hell. Last night I experienced the most intense physical pleasure I've ever known.
Martin: Frasier, before you continue, I shared my bed last night with a dog.

Martin: Fras, I'm just gonna say one thing: watch out for this woman. I know how these things work.
Frasier: You've experienced something like this?
Martin: I didn't say that. I just know the type. Today she's got you going against your better judgment. Pretty soon, you'll be thinking about her all the time — losing sleep, missing work, neglecting your friends... and then pretty soon you'll get caught naked with her in the backseat of your squad car. But anyway, the point is, the longer you put this thing off, the harder it's going to be to end it.

Daphne: Dr. Crane, were you at Caitlin's all this time?
Frasier: Heavens, no. I, uh, I stopped by early this morning. We've decided to go our separate ways. And then, I, uh, met up with Roz, went over some paperwork... You know how she is these days. You know, get her on one of
her troubles and yak-yak-yak-yak-yak!
[Roz closes the bathroom door behind Frasier]
Frasier: And yet she makes every story so interesting I could listen to her for hours.

Daphne: Here we are! Got them out of the oven just in time. Another minute and I would have had burned buns.
Niles: Which brings us back to your story.
Daphne: Well, there I was wearing nothing but a smile, when the sun started to shift. So I moved behind the water tower, and who was lying there but Derek — the good-looking fireman from across the hall? Who was also getting an all-over tan, I might add. So, I had two choices. I could either tiptoe away or— [kettle whistles] Tea.
Niles: No, sit! My God, must Daphne do everything around here?

Daphne: And it wasn't until afterwards that we realized we'd rolled onto the skylight above the main stairwell! [laughs] Oh, we took some ribbing about that, we did.
[Niles slowly rises from the couch, walks towards the apartment door. Opens the door, turns back and leaves without saying a word]

Frasier: That's a mousetrap, isn't it? You get many mice?
Caitlin: I wish. I use them in my art.
Frasier: Dead mice?
Caitlin: Yeah, they're part of my newest collage series. It's all about mortality.

Frasier: You know, Caitlin, I'm thinking-
Caitlin: No, no, no, don't think. The secret to a good massage is to let the mind rest, and listen to the body.
Frasier: Right.
Caitlin: Yeah.
Frasier: Go ahead, body. I'm listening.