Niles: I wouldn't know what to say. And besides, I'm a married man.
Frasier: Oh, Niles, please, when will you get rid of that tired old excuse, your off again/off again relationship with Maris?

Niles: Well, I'm sorry, this is still a little new for me. And besides, those two are coming on to us.
Frasier: You know, they are very attractive, Niles.
Niles: I know.
Frasier: Maybe we should ask them out?
Niles: On a date? We just met.
Frasier: Good point, Niles. Perhaps we should go out with them a few more times before we ask them on a date.

Niles: Oh, but wait. We're making an assumption here.
Frasier: Hmm?
Niles: We could both we interested in the same woman.
Frasier: Good Lord, I hadn't thought of that.
Niles: All right, I'll declare. I'm interested in Beth.
Frasier: Good. Good, we really dodged the bullet there. ... Which one's Beth?
Niles: Oh, it's this one here.
Frasier: Great.

Laura: Oh, Frasier, what a great apartment.
Frasier: Well, it's just a little something I threw together. You know, an objet here, an antique there.
Beth: And there's the chair. Wow, he wasn't kidding!

Niles: Say, you two have been here five minutes and you haven't seen Frasier's kitchen yet.
Frasier: There's really nothing special about it.
Niles: Let's let the professionals judge that.
Laura: I am kind of curious to take a peek.
Niles: Well, peek away. Peek away. Yes, someday when you speak of his faux granite countertops - and you will - be kind.

Frasier: This afternoon, for the first time in your life, a perfectly lovely woman that you don't even know has agreed to go away with you on a weekend. Isn't that exactly the kind of scenario you've always dreamed of?
Niles: [Niles starts to smile] Yes.
Frasier: And if you pass it up, won't you regret it?
Niles: Yes!
Frasier: Well, then, for once in your timid, risk-free life, don't you think it's time you grabbed that brass ring?
Laura: Great kitchen, Frasier. You guys feel like firing up the cappuccino maker?
Niles: Yes! ... Of course, if I have that much caffeine at this hour, it'll probably be... Yes!

Niles: Ah, you know, I just wish I were sure that Beth and I were on the same page. It's been so long, I've forgotten how to read all the signals.
Frasier: Well, Niles, you don't need a decoder ring to understand the phrase, "Make our own entertainment"!

Martin: Not feeling so hot, huh?
Martin: What did the doctor say?
Daphne: He says I've got... Oh, what was that medical term he used? Oh, I remember. Flu!

Laura: Is there anything more relaxing than just lazing by the fire with a good glass of wine?
Beth: Nothing I know of.
Niles: You two must be relaxed. Sitting there so calmly when there is still all that unpacking to do.

Frasier: Niles, what are you doing?
Niles: Oh, never mind. [on the phone] Yes, is Mrs. Crane there? Yes, I'll hold.
Frasier: What is this, some sort of weird, kinky foreplay?