Niles: Well, Dad wasn't really thrilled with the women we married.
Frasier: Yes. Fortunately my taste has improved a lot since then.
Laura: I think your taste is fabulous. I'm referring to the brandy, of course.
Frasier: Hmm, velvety texture, great body... I'm not.

Frasier: What's going on?!
Niles: Well, things are going rather fast. Just going out this evening was a big step, but something that involves packing a suitcase, and given my situation, I can't-
Frasier: Niles! When you are going to stop letting Maris be an anchor on your social life?
Niles: Oh, surely that is the most tortured metaphor you've ever come up with! Maris, an anchor?!

Frasier: Well, I think things are going rather well, don't you?
Niles: Yes, they are, and thank you for twisting my arm.
Frasier: You feel like a new man, don't you?
Niles: I feel like a new woman, and thank God I remembered to pack one.

Niles: Well, we're all adults, I suppose we could just ask them what they have in mind.
Frasier: That's the worst thing we could do. What if they're not interested? They'll be embarrassed and it'll ruin the entire weekend.
Niles: I know. Their luggage will tell us. We'll put my bag in with your date's, and your bag in with my date's. They'll see the mistake.
Frasier: Right.
Niles: The way they correct it will tell us with whom they're planning to spend the night, each other or us. And either way, it'll all look like a simple misunderstanding.
Frasier: You've done this before.
Niles: Only on my honeymoon. Now, hurry.
Frasier: Niles, this is idiotic. We're both trained psychiatrists.
Niles: Yes, and finally it's paying off.

Niles: What are you doing? What if she's changed her mind again. How I am supposed to know what to think?
Frasier: I'm just going to say this one last time. This weekend is not about thinking, it's about doing. Doing something that the Crane boys haven't done for a very, very long time. For once in our miserable, sex-starved lives, can't we do something pleasurable without thinking it to death? [Laura and Beth come out of the bedrooms] Don't think about today. Don't think about what's right. Don't even think of them as Laura and Beth. For tonight they are just two live, breathing, available female bodies who want us!
Laura: Think again.

Roz: Frasier, are you really afraid of needles?
Frasier: Oh, not really, no. I just say that to encourage people that really are.
Roz: Well, they can use the help. You know, those needles they use are about this long and if it hits a nerve when it's going into the muscle.
Daphne: Shots are perfectly harmless. You've got nothing to worry about. Oh, sure, you hear the occasional story about somebody getting an air bubble in their vein or the needle getting stuck in a bone and the tip breaking off, but that's the exception.

Martin: Well, you're not getting a flu shot today, you told me you'd drop me off at McGinty's. Now, I told Duke I'd meet him at five 'o clock sharp and he'd pounce if I were not there on time. He sits there with his bottom lip stuck out and eats all of the Brazil nuts out of the bowl because he knows I like them.

Frasier: All right, folks, we're back. Um, joining us for this last minute of our show is Dr. Morris Claman who's going to give me my flu shot. But, you know, what's the rush? Perhaps we'd be interested in finding out what strains of flu you've isolated this year.
Dr. Morris Claman: Primarily Singapore, Rangoon and Malayan. Would you roll up your sleeve, please?
Frasier: And how do you suppose they traveled here?
Dr. Morris Claman: No idea. Roll up your sleeve.
Frasier: [rolling sleeve] Could it have been a careless tourist? A baggage handler? A tainted wok?
Roz: Dr. Crane, we're almost out of time. You do want to get that shot, don't you?
Frasier: Yes, yes.
Dr. Morris Claman: Right, first I'm just gonna swab the area with a little alcohol and then I'm going to give you the shot. There, that's done.
Frasier: Really? Well, that didn't hurt at all. The newly immunized Dr. Frasier Crane, signing off.
Dr. Morris Claman: No, no, no, that was just the alcohol. This is the needle.
[Frasier screens so loudly, prompting Roz to take her headphones off]

Roz: Dibs on that table.
Frasier: Roz, Niles was here first.
Roz: No, but I'm meeting someone. Please, guys?
Niles: Oh, who is it? Another one of your till-dawn-do-us-part relationships?

Roz: It's a guy who I think really has a chance. I can sense a lot of chemistry between us. Morris.
Dr. Morris Claman: Hi.
Frasier: Dear God! When did you two even get out of my sight?
Roz: You blacked out for thirty seconds after he gave you the shot.