Poppy: Before I begin my new show I just want to say a few words. Yesterday, I was ready to leave KACL. To run away, as I have from so many other challenges. It was the support of one man, Frasier Crane, that helped me overcome this shyness many of you may have observed in me, and to follow my dreams. Oh my God, I want to cry.
Gil: We all do.

Frasier: Oh, I am sorry, Niles. Gosh, it's a shame, really. You know, I know how much you loved that job, and to lose it in such an unceremonious fashion.
Niles: Well, you know, I was thinking of quitting that job anyway.
Frasier: Oh?
Niles: Uh-huh. I thought I was spreading myself too thin. Getting distracted from my real work.
Frasier: I had the exact same thought. Even as I was preparing my show, I thought, "Am I being fair to my regular listeners?"
Niles: They do depend on you.
Frasier: As do your patients.
Niles: Thank you.
Frasier: Gosh, you know, is it any wonder we find ourselves ex-critics?
Niles: We were meant to lose those jobs.
Frasier: It's as if the Gods of psychiatry, jealous of our dalliance, have quietly stepped in and put things right.
Niles: Well put.

Frasier: You know, it's just a shame my listeners never got to hear my review of "Streetcar."
Niles: Oh, insightful, was it?
Frasier: Groundbreaking.
Niles: As was mine.
Frasier: Yes, well, it takes a psychiatrist to interpret that play.
Niles: "A descent into madness, and it was well worth the trip in this incandescent revival of 'A Streetcar Named Desire'...."

Gil: Dear God! I thought I'd never break free. I feel like a mongoose at the mercy of a chatty cobra.

Frasier: Oh, yes. Be sure to tune in later for the final broadcast of KACL's loveable curmudgeon, Chester Ludgate. You know, most of us here at the station were surprised to hear that he was retiring. I for one thought he'd never leave.

Frasier: What the hell's happening?
Martin: Well, remember last week when Eddie killed his first rat? And how proud I was? I told you that story, right?
Frasier: Yes, Dad, you told us. If you'd had a guitar you would have written a ballad.

Frasier: You know Dad, this is actually your fault. You know if you hadn't encouraged him after he killed his first rat he wouldn't have moved on to murdering hamsters!
Martin: Well, what are you talking about? We don't know it was Eddie who killed him. He might have had a heart attack, or some kind of seizure when he bounced off the boiler.

Martin: So, are you sure you're okay with Niles getting this critic job?
Frasier: Why wouldn't I be, Dad?
Martin: Oh, come on, I know what it's like with you two when one of you gets something the other one doesn't have. It's just like when you were kids. Niles had a telescope, you had to have a telescope. You got that funny looking guitar, Niles...
Frasier: Dad, it was called a lute.
Martin: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Okay.

Roz: I see Poppy's having a little party.
Frasier: That's not a party, that's a hostage situation.

Roz: Thank God today is her last day. You know, this morning she cornered me by the coffee machine and told me her whole life story. I just wanted to grab her by the throat and say, "What am I, your biographer? Shut up!"