Gil: Did I mention he's a drug mule?
Frasier: Oh, he is not. You're just saying that because you don't want to help me out.
Gil: Oh, such insight. It's a pity more people don't listen to your show.

Frasier: Thank you for coming, Mrs. Wilkins. Of course, we have several other candidates to interview, but I'll be sure to let you know by the twelfth. [closing the door] ...of never!

Frasier: Now let's see, who is our front runner thus far?
Martin: Oh, I don't know. They're all the same to me.
Frasier: Honestly, Dad, you know, I am starting to get the slightest bit chaffed with your attitude. You haven't even graded any of the candidates, you've simply doodled a war plane dropping bombs on a soldier.
Martin: That's not a soldier.
Frasier: Well, then why is he wearing a helmet?
Martin: It's not a helmet. It's someone with a big head.

Frasier: Now, I'll get right to the interview. First question. What is the best way to combat rings on a wooden table?
Trish: Um, I heard you can rub mayonnaise on it.
Frasier: The best way is to provide coasters. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Trish: [chuckling] Started me out with a trick question. Right.

Daphne: Trish, if the washing machine has a twenty-five minute cycle, and the dryer has a forty minute cycle, what time does the second load have to go in the washer to be done by five o'clock?
Trish: Uh, well, that's sixty-five minutes, so 3:55.
Daphne: You may want to take some time to think about these questions before...
Frasier: Daphne, she's right.
Daphne: Well done.

Frasier: Thank you for coming by.
Trish: Oh, sure. That was the interview, huh? Two questions.
Frasier: Well, it was really more of a pre-screening. We'll be sure to let you know.
Trish: Oh, just to let you know, I'll be out of town until the first.
Frasier: Fine, then I'll be sure to call you the second... [closing the door] I lose my mind!

Martin: What? What was wrong with her?
Frasier: In the first place, she showed up late. She doesn't take the interview seriously, how can we expect her to take the job seriously?
Martin: Oh, you just don't like her because she's not all stuffy.
Daphne: She did seem a bit cheeky.
Martin: Which you never were.

Frasier: Who would you hire? This, this Trish, I suppose.
Martin: Well, I was right about Daphne. Doesn't that count for anything? You didn't even want to hire her, you thought she might steal.
Daphne: Did you really say that?
Frasier: Of course not. ... I don't remember.

Martin: Well whoever gets hired is someone I'm gonna have to spend a lot of time with, and I don't need a lot of quiz questions and score sheets to get a feel for someone's character.
Daphne: Did I look like a thief? Was it me shifty eyes?
Martin: Look, if you don't trust my judgment, Frasier, just have the guts to say so.
Frasier: You know, all right, fine. You can hire whoever you want to. You want this Trish, fine, call her.
Martin: Great. I'll call her right now and tell her she's hired.
Daphne: And I'll tell her where you keep your valuables.
Frasier: Oh, would you give it a rest?!

Roz: Hey, Niles, have a seat.
Niles: Oh, thank you.
Niles: [to waiter] I'll have my usual. Oh no, bottled water, room temperature.
Roz: Gee, slow down, little man. What are we celebrating?