Niles: I just know this man is the answer to my problems.
Frasier: Yes, who better to mend the fragile fabric of a troubled marriage than a man whose business address is a wharf.

Frasier: Do you suppose that's him?
Niles: I doubt it. That overcoat is Armani.
Frasier: Good point, Niles. Where would a criminal come up with the money for something like that?

Jerome: Excuse my tardiness, but my lady friend and I were having one of those discussions from which it is difficult to remove oneself.
Frasier: Yes, we certainly know about those, don't we?
Niles: Yes, dames!

Jerome: You may consider the matter dealt with.
Niles: Maris, it's all taken care of. What did you say? No, I've just never heard those words before. You're welcome.

Jerome: Now, if you'll excuse me, gentlemen, I've got another business engagement.
Frasier: At this hour of the night? My God, it's past midnight. What kind of business could it possibly be ... of mine where you're going.

Martin: Who the hell is this guy?
Niles: He's some hooligan who helped fix Maris's legal problem, and in return I promised him a favor. And, oh God, do you think that's why he's here? To collect?
Frasier: No, Niles. He's probably having a luau and he came to borrow our Poi Ramekins.

Frasier: Dad, how can I possibly as a self-respecting psychiatrist tell any woman to marry that thug?
Daphne: What are you talking about? He seemed very nice to me.
Frasier: This coming from the psychic who thought he was a chiropractor.

Frasier: Roz, who's our next caller?
Roz: We have Randy, from Richmond Beach.
Frasier: Hello Randy, I'm listening.
Brandy: "Not Randy, Brandy."
Frasier: Brandy?
Brandy: "The traditional spelling."

Frasier: You know, we're all out of time. My goodness, I feel so sorry but...
Roz: No, you're not. We've got five minutes left.
Frasier: Thank you, Roz. All right Brandy, go ahead. Your problem, please.
Brandy: "Well, it's my boyfriend, Jerome. He said I should call you. We've been sort of semi-engaged for eight years, and he wants to get married."
Frasier: Well, I can certainly hear the love in your voice, so I say case closed. Best of luck to you in the future!
Brandy: "Whoa! You got a bus to catch?! There's a lot more to it. For starters, I think he's cheated on me."
Roz: Well, in my experience, when you suspect something like that, nine out of ten times you're right.
Frasier: Well, as far as I'm concerned, I think a little mistrust adds mystery to a relationship.

Niles: Frasier, I never meant for any of this to happen. How long are you going to stay mad at me?
Frasier: For as long as I live. Which should probably take us through breakfast.