Debra: What's this?
Frank: I don't know, some porcelain thing you gave us for our 30th anniversary or some other terrible occasion.
Debra: Why are you giving it back to me?
Frank: Marie says she doesn't like it and she never did.
Debra: So she sent you over here with this?
Frank: That's right. I'm Marie's stinking messenger service since you two stopped talking to each other.
Debra: Okay, Frank. All right. Okay.
Frank: You know who she does talk to? Me. Nonstop. So do me a favor. If you're upset, please shoot the messenger.

Debra: What are you watching?
Ray: You. [kisses Debra]
Debra: Oh, hey, Ray, you know what? How about tomorrow, hmm?
Ray: How about we start today and go till tomorrow?
Debra: We'll, we'd have to start at 11:59, then.

[flashback:]
Marie: I know exactly what you and Debra are planning.
Ray: What? How do you know anything?
Marie: Believe me, I would rather not know. But when you talk in your room, it carries through the whole house.
Frank: Especially when your mother stands on the dresser so she can listen through the vent.

Ray: So you ended up sleeping with me that night because of what my mother said?
Debra: I guess so.
Ray: Back to therapy.

Debra: Listen, I came over here to- to- to try- [Marie turns around] Marie, are you kidding?
Marie: Here's a little sauce left, would you like some?
Frank: No sauce. Talk! For God's sake, talk to her!
Marie: Would you like some, Robert?
Robert: I'll have a little bit.
Frank: You take that sauce and I'll kill you. No one's having your sauce until you talk to her!
[Marie pours the sauce down the sink]
Debra: Well, Marie, I don't know what I was thinking coming over here, because this past month of you not talking to me has been the best month of my life!

[flashback:]
Marie: Father Hubley, did you know that Debra and Raymond have been dating for a few months now?
Ray: Maybe this is a bad time, I don't think we have enough lasagna.
Frank: Hey, Ray's right. We may be in trouble here. Because, with all due respect, Father, I saw what you did to that cheesecake at the church bake sale.

Debra: Honey, you know what? You know what? Really definitely tomorrow, okay? The kids'll be on their play date, we'll be all alone.
Ray: Hmm? Interesting. During the daytime, you're saying?
Debra: I am.
Ray: Well, you sound very sincere, so I guess you'll have no trouble signing this.
Debra: "I agree to have daytime sex with Ray Barone tomorrow, May 23rd of this year." [signs] Can I go to sleep now?
Ray: Yes, you may. But in case you have any ideas of ripping this up in the middle of the night... [puts it in his pants] I win either way.

Ray: Hello-oo. Well, I just dropped the kids off at their play date, and now it's time for mine.
Debra: Not now, Ray.
Ray: Oh, I beg to differ.
Debra: Ray!
Ray: I had a feeling you might change your mind, and that's why, if you remember, I had you sign a certain document.
Debra: Do you know what just happened?
Ray: I must tell you, I do not care. Your signature.
Debra: [rips up the paper] What is wrong with you?! You can't tell I'm upset? After how many years, you can't tell I'm not in the mood right now?!
Ray: All right, now I'm starting to get it.

[flashback:]
Robert: I gotta get to work. Which one of you bozos parked behind me?
Bernie: Hey, Robert, listen, we're taking odds. You think Debra's gonna have sex with Ray tomorrow?
Robert: Hmm, I don't know. Has the president declared Ray the last man on earth?
Ray: That doesn't even make sense, all right? If the president was around to declare it, then how am I the last man, stupid?
Robert: Well, president or no president, there's no way you're ever having sex with that Debra.

[flashback:]
Robert: Check her eggs, man, check her eggs!
Ray: What?
Robert: You check her refrigerator to see if she has enough eggs to make both of you breakfast in the morning.
Ray: Oh, really? Yeah. You know, Mom has two dozen eggs in the fridge right now.
Bernie: Oh, why do you do that?