Ray: Um... I mean, maybe they use their webs to swing around, you know, like Spider-Man! Spider-Man, he shoots webs out of his wrists, and he goes swinging around.
Spencer: That's a movie.
Frank: [chuckles] He got you there, Einstein.
Ray: No, he doesn't, Dad. I'm just saying if he could fly, he'd be Superman.
Debra: Where are you going with this?
Ray: Just listen. But he can't, so he's Spider-Man. So he doesn't fly, he doesn't jump on the beds. So go have fun.

Robert: What are you doing?
Ray: Looking for an aspirin. That little Spencer's giving me a headache.
Robert: He's got some voice. We could play a tape of that outside hostage standoffs.
Ray: Thank you very much. Debra thinks I'm a jerk just 'cause I can't stand him.

Robert: Hey, you stink.
Ray: You stink.
Robert: No, according to your refrigerator, you stink.
Ray: It's that that damned Spencer! Oh, so now I stink? He comes into my house, he writes I stink with my alphabet magnets!
Robert: You don't know for sure it was Spencer.
Ray: Was it you?
Robert: No.
Ray: You?
Frank: If I did it, it wouldn't say "stinks."
Ray: Yeah, well, then it was Spencer.
Robert: It could be the twins.
Ray: No, they would write "Daddy stinks."

Marie: Come on, you two. I've got chicken for you. Raymond, I think your friends are delightful.
Ray: Yeah, they're great.
Marie: What's the matter?
Robert: Raymond stinks.
Marie: Don't say that. He just smells natural.

Kids: Spider power!
Ray: Hey, hey! Ho, guys, no jumping, huh? No jumping on the beds, okay? Come on, Spence, buddy, no jumping.
Spencer: My name's not "Spence Buddy."
Ray: Okay, listen, Spencer, I'm serious, okay? No more jumping. [Spencer jumps off the bed and goes to the door] Listen. Listen, Spencer, you-
Spencer: Ray stinks!

Ray: No, listen. Okay, Spencer, I really need to talk to you right now.
Spencer: Evasive action! Beep! Beep!
Ray: Stop. Enough! Enough of the robot stuff. I'm not fooling around. You have to stop this. Come on, stop it. Now! [Spencer stares at Ray] Okay, Spencer, I don't know exactly what's happening, but I think you're having a little trouble listening, right?
Spencer: System failure. [makes powering down noise and droops head]
Ray: What are you doing? Okay, nobody likes this. Come on. Wake up.

Debra: Everything okay?
Ray: Yeah, yeah. Totally, yeah. He's just doing that thing he does, that funny funny robot thing.
Neil: Oh, this looks like a system failure. Pal, did something happen?
Spencer: He yelled at me.
Debra: Ray!
Ray: Oh, no, no, no, no. Not at all. That wasn't yelling, Spence, buddy. Spencer. I didn't want your system to fail, just wanted you to stop running so I could talk to you. Yeah, no big deal, no big deal. Just, you know, about listening to adults and not saying they stink and also writing it on the refrigerator. Yeah. No big deal.
Lauren: Did you write on Ray and Debra's refrigerator?
Spencer: No.
Ray: Actually, yeah, with magnets. Yeah, he spelled out "Ray stinks." No big deal.
Lauren: Spence.
Spencer: We were all doing it.
Ray: Good. I'm glad you told me, because I'm definitely gonna have a word with Michael and Geoffrey later. Thanks.

Neil: I think they were just fooling around.
Lauren: Honey, why don't you and the boys go play?
Spencer: Okay. [gives Ray an evil look as he walks away]
Lauren: He gets so involved in his games.
Ray: Yeah, he's great, yeah.
Lauren: See, the flipside to him being so bright and energetic is that he's also very sensitive.
Neil: And he responds much better to rational discussion than yelling.
Debra: Yeah, Ray.
Ray: Oh, no, no. I didn't yell. I was doing a singsong thing. [singsongy] Spencer, stop running! You know? That's what he heard.
Debra: Still, you're this big intimidating adult. It was probably a little bit scary for him.

Lauren: It's all right, Ray. Most people don't realize they have to adjust their approach with this kind of child.
Ray: Yeah, okay.
Debra: But it's a little bit weird when you're dealing with other people's children. They're used to a different parenting style.
Lauren: You're so right, Debra. We're all so used to our own. And just because your kids are more conventional, you're used to doing things differently.
Debra: What do you mean?
Lauren: Oh, no, no. You know what I mean. They're terrific.
Debra: That's good, 'cause the "conventional"...
Lauren: No, no, no, that's not it at all. That was a poor choice of words. We think your kids are wonderful.
Neil: Wonderful!
Lauren: Really, Debra, your boys are adorable.
Neil: And I'm sure in terms of their development, they're absolutely where they should be.
Debra: Yeah, I see. In terms of their development.

Lauren: See, we're just used to Spencer, who's been identified as gifted, although we don't like to use that word.
Neil: Some people could take it the wrong way.
Ray: Yeah, I can see that.
Lauren: It's just that Spencer is...
Debra: Special?
Lauren: Right. Wait. Wait, what?
Debra: No, nothing. He's special. Yeah, Spencer is unique.
Ray: Ha-hoo!
Neil: And your kids are marvelous.
Lauren: Well, I should help clean up in there because we've got to get going.
Debra: Already?
Neil: Hey, Spencer, let's get moving, pal!
Spencer: [runs around making unintelligible noises]
Ray: That's a gifted boy.