Spencer: Beep! Enemy targets identified. Beep!
Ray: Ha ha ha. We're under attack. Hey, guys, you know where there's a lot of other enemies? Out in the backyard.
Spencer: Negative.
Ray: [stands up] Seriously, guys, why don't you go outside, you know? See if you can do something. [Spencer puts his toy weapon on the chair as Ray goes to sit back down] Agh! What the heck?
Spencer: Target destroyed!
Neil: You okay there, Ray?
Ray: Yeah. I think I'm all right. My target's not completely destroyed.
Debra: It wasn't in that great a shape to begin with. I'm kidding.
Ray: Ha ha ha, yeah yeah.

Ray: Oh, wait. Hold on, Spencer. I think the cannolis are for the grownups. The cookies are for you guys.
Spencer: I hate cookies.
Ray: No, they're all sprinkly and sugary, you know, and, you see, that's mine.
Spencer: I'm the guest. [eats the cannoli] Ew! This is gross! [throws it away] Robots, mobilize!

Neil: Well, this has been great, but we really should get going. Robot Commander, we're blasting off!
Lauren: When our remodel is done, you guys are coming over.
Debra: The kids are gonna wanna get together before then, so why don't you come over next weekend?
Lauren: Oh, we don't want to impose. I mean, you've got Ray's parents...
Debra: No, but this is different. You're invited.

Debra: Oh, wow. They are great, huh? You know what? They were here for four hours. That just flew by.
Ray: Yeah.
Debra: What?
Ray: No. Nothing. It's just felt like four hours.
Debra: What do you mean?
Ray: Not crazy about the boy.

Ray: I'm telling you, that kid, he's a pain.
Debra: He is not! The boys loved him.
Ray: He steals.
Debra: What?!
Ray: My cannoli. He stole my cannoli.
Debra: You know, I feel bad for you. I really do. Why can't you focus on the wonderful afternoon we just had instead of finding the microscopic negative?
Ray: Oh, I need a microscope to find [robotic voice] Robot Commander! [makes beeping noises] I specifically said, "Spencer, the cannolis are for the grownups. I think the cookies are for you." And you know what that little weasel says? "I'm the guest!"
Debra: "Weasel"? Look, he was our guest. If he wanted a cannoli, what's wrong with that?
Ray: What's wrong with that? He took one bite of it and he threw the whole thing out. Look at him in there.
Debra: Ray.
Ray: Look at him!

Debra: Just stop it. Are you really going to let this little thing ruin a great friendship?
Ray: Oh, what friendship? We just met these people.
Debra: Yeah, and you liked them immediately. You wanted to play golf with him.
Ray: Yeah, I'll golf with him. If the kid's gonna caddy, I'm out!
Debra: You know what? You have a problem. You don't want me to make friends.
Ray: Don't get all crazy, all right?
Debra: Listen, I want to make friends. Why can't I have friends?
Ray: I'm your friend!
Debra: This is the argument?

Ray: You want to be friends with Lauren and Neil, fine. We can spend as much time as you want with them, just not with the kids.
Debra: You don't like kids.
Ray: Wha- Wha- What are you saying?!
Debra: Name one kid that you like.
Ray: Bernie and Linda's kid David.
Debra: Benjamin.
Ray: Whatever! That is a great kid.
Debra: We never see him.
Ray: That's right. He gives us a chance to miss him. And in a couple of years, I'll look forward to seeing him again.

Debra: Okay, you listen to me. The Williamsons are perfect family friends. We like them, and they have a kid that our kids love, and we should be able to get together with them as a group.
Ray: Okay.
Debra: Okay. Good. Thank you.
Ray: But I won't be there.
Debra: Okay. Fine. Then you can tell the Williamsons that you're not spending time with them because you have a problem with their child.
Ray: I won't have to tell them because I won't be there.
Debra: Okay, then, I'll tell them.
Ray: Fine with me.
Debra: Yeah, I will. And you know what? It'll ruin the friendship.
Ray: Also fine.
Debra: No! You are doing this for me! How often do I ask you to do something for me?
Ray: Every day! Every day I have to say no. Let's stop the charade!

Ally: Dad, they're bothering me!
Ray: All right, guys, let's leave her alone.
Spencer: But we must feed or we will die!
Marie: Oh, are they hungry? Because I got chicken cacciatore across the street.

Ray: Yeah, guys, why don't you take Spencer and play in your room?
Spencer: Let's go jump on your beds.
Ray: Whoa, whoa. Hold on there, buddy. Let's not jump on the beds, okay?
Spencer: But we have to. We're flying spiders.
Ray: Well, hold on. Wait a second, big guy. I mean, spiders don't fly.
Spencer: Actually, they do.
Ray: Actually they crawl around, and they spin webs, right?
Spencer: They also use their webs to float on air currents.
Marie: Air currents! He's very bright.
Lauren: Thank you.
Neil: He loves to debate like this.