Ray: Hey, what are you doing with that cap?
Robert: Oh, yeah! Kart Attack. I guess you and me are partners now.
Debra: Oh, so you invested too.
Robert: Are you kidding me? Those guys did a great presentation, blew me away. Fog machine and everything.

Robert: You should wear the hat, Ray, free advertising.
Ray: Well, I don't know if I can wear a hat. I haven't asked permission yet.
Debra: Hey, Robert can invest his money however he wants. He's not married, he's alone.
Robert: Doo-dah, doo-dah.

Ray: Don't worry, Robert, you're better off. Look at this. Here's a list my wife gave me of what she's charging me to be married to her.
Robert: Whoa, you know what, Debra? You have beautiful handwriting.
Debra: Thank you.
Ray: Come on! It's not about the handwriting. Look at what she's charging me for! What the hell is that number right there?
Debra: That's the total for the fiscal year.
Ray: That's more than I earn!
Debra: Oh, you noticed that?
Ray: Yeah, but I actually earn it.

Marie: Hi, dears. Debra, I need to borrow your washer. Frank broke ours.
Frank: It's not broken. Just before you put that in, let me take theirs apart so I can see what it's supposed to look like.
Ray: Look, we're kinda in the middle of something here, so could you come back in a couple of years?
Frank: What are you doing? Making moonshine in the bathtub?

Ray: Yeah, all right, we all know what they're worth. But who would win between me and Debra?
Robert: Well, we're talking about death here, Raymond. There's really no winning.
Debra: Okay, yeah, who's worth more?
Robert: Well, it's a little complicated. I mean, a jury could look at almost anything. For example, did you know that they're more sympathetic to an attractive person?
Frank: Say good night, Ray-mo.

Robert: I'm sure if Debra's life was presented to a jury, they would see that she was very active.
Ray: Yeah, yeah, okay.
Robert: That she worked out, she was healthy, spirited, she had a zest for life-
Ray: Got it!
Robert: And they would also be more sympathetic to Debra because she is the primary caregiver and nurturer.
Debra: I win.

Marie: He never knew about all that money I saved for our trip to Italy. And Debra, I never told Frank about the loan I gave you two.
Ray: What loan?
Debra: That's okay, Marie, you don't have to-
Marie: When you first got married and you were living in that apartment.
Ray: What loan?
Debra: No, it it wasn't much. It was just a little something to get us over a rough spot.
Marie: Yes, dear, it was just $2,500.
Ray: $2,500? You you never told me about that.
Debra: Yeah, but we needed new tires and the dishwasher was broken and you hadn't gotten your bonus yet. And you were doing the best you could.
Ray: So you went to my mother?!
Marie: No, I told Debra she didn't have to pay me back, she's family. And you can't put a price on love. And anyway, I'm not the kind of person-
Debra: I paid her back in two weeks.

Ray: My God. What else did you do? What else don't I know about?
Debra: Nothing.
Ray: Come on. If you can do things like borrow money from my mother, what other money stuff don't I know about?
Debra: Nothing. Look, you did the go-cart thing and I did the thing with your mother that one time. So you know, we're even.
Ray: Whoa! Wait a minute!
Robert: Look around, Raymond, you got it good. Whatever she's doing is working.
Ray: No, no, no. Really, what else did you do?
Robert: Raymond. Hey, hey, hey, listen, cubby. When the little monkey rings a bell and the pellet comes out, he doesn't ask how the pellet got there. He just enjoys the pellet.

Ray: You know what? Maybe you were right. I'm just saying, maybe we should consult each other now in all the money stuff, okay?
Debra: All right, okay, sure.
Marie: Oh, that's so nice.
Debra: Honey, why don't you just go sit on the couch? I'll make you a nice meal, okay?
Ray: All right.
Marie: [to Debra] Nice and heavy.

Ray: Listen, I want to be included in everything, okay? In all the decisions, okay?
Debra: Definitely.
Robert: Let's go.
Ray: I work for her, don't I?
Robert: Mm-hmm.