Ray: Geoffrey, your team has the ball. You don't got to play defense now!
Man: It's okay, Geoffrey! You're doing great! Hey, big Geoff!
Ray: Aw, give me a break!
Debra: Would you just cheer?
Ray: What? I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just fooling around. I'm fooling around, everybody. We'll still let him sleep inside tonight.
Robert: Hang in there, Geoffrey!
Man: Good hustle, big Geoff!
Woman: Yay, Geoffrey! Way to go, Geoffrey! [gives Ray an evil look]

Bryan: You know, Raymond, I couldn't help overhearing some of the things you were saying in the stands today, and it concerned me-
Ray: Yeah, listen, listen, l-
Bryan: Excuse me. I was still speaking. I'm concerned that maybe we're dealing with some misplaced priorities here. Now, I understand that you're a prominent sports writer and you deal with grown-up teams that are very concerned with winning and losing-
Ray: Look, I know what-
Bryan: Excuse me. Still speaking. But I think we all need to understand that the space outside the hoop is just as valid as the space inside the hoop.
Ray: Hmm. You don't often hear that from a basketball coach.
Bryan: Well, you know, competition isn't really what we're all about.
Ray: I know, I know. It's about fun. I mean, fun! Just give me a break. It's 8:00 in the morning.

Bryan: Raymond, all I'm trying to say is that when you kid around, it seems that you're genuinely concerned that Geoffrey's doing something bad.
Ray: Well, no, no, no, no. That's not it at all.
Bryan: Well, then, why make fun of your son?
Ray: I wasn't making fun. I was making fun-ny!
Bryan: "He's allergic to the basketball"? That's not funny.
Ray: It is a little funny.
Bryan: You know, often a parent belittles a child from the sideline because that parent himself is a frustrated athlete-
Ray: No, no, no way. I was good at sports. Not that that's important. Look, look, you're worried that I'm too serious here, but it's just the opposite. I've accepted I've got one kid out there who's good at basketball, and one kid who can't do anything out there except spin around and pretend he's Scooby-Doo. [notices Geoffrey stood behind him] Herro, Reoffrey! Ro rong!

Ray: Hey, the next time Robert says he's nauseous, he's walking home, all right? I had to hose off the whole side of the van. As far as the street goes, I think we're just gonna have to pray for rain.

Debra: Geoffrey quit basketball.
Ray: What do you mean? When?
Debra: Just now. They're up there changing out of their uniforms. He hands me his and says he doesn't want to play anymore.
Ray: Oh. I wonder why that is.
Debra: Gee, I don't know. But I was just talking to him, and I was thinking it could possibly be related to you telling his coach that he looked like Scooby-Doo.
Ray: I never said that!
Debra: Then what did you say?
Ray: I don't know, but I did not say that exactly.

Debra: What did you say, Ray?
Ray: I was having a private conversation with Bryan Trenberth, who, by the way, knows squat about basketball, and the exact thing I said was that Geoffrey was good at spinning around and pretending to be Scooby-Doo. Good at spinning and pretending.
Debra: And Geoff heard you.
Ray: So, look, I know-
Debra: And you were making your stupid comments through the whole game, and everybody else heard you.
Ray: Okay, but the only thing he heard was Scooby-Doo. Nobody quits from that. [off Debra's look] You think that he quit from that? I'll talk to him.
Debra: Wait a minute. What are you gonna say to him?
Ray: I'm gonna talk to him. Don't worry.
Debra: Don't worry? Tell me what you're gonna say.
Ray: I don't have to run things by you! You're not in charge here!
Debra: Ray.
Ray: I'm gonna say... That it was a joke, and I was just kidding, and he should play basketball because it's a blast, and let's all have some bubble gum!

Debra: You're not going to apologize?
Ray: See, this is why you don't know anything about anything. If I go up there and apologize to Geoffrey, then he thinks I have something to apologize about, and then all of a sudden it's a big deal when it's not a big deal.
Debra: It is a big deal!
Ray: No! No! No, it's not! Hey, weren't you the one who came up with the "laugh when they fall down" trick so they won't know they hurt themselves?
Debra: Well, he didn't fall down today. It's as if you pushed him down.
Ray: That is a completely wrong analogy! If anything, today it was like I patted him on the back and he tripped.

Ray: Um so, Geoffrey, I heard that you were thinking about quitting basketball.
Geoffrey: Yes.
Ray: Why?
Geoffrey: I'm no good.
Ray: Who said that? You're terrific! Nobody said you're no good. Who told you that?
Geoffrey: Michael's good. You said so.
Ray: Oh. See, no. Michael's good, and so are you. Here's what happened. I was talking to Coach Bryan today about something else, and you heard me say a little joke. Daddy does that sometimes, but I was just kidding. Like when you call me "poopy-head." I know you really don't think I'm a poopy-head. [Geoffrey is silent] Okay, maybe a bad example. Look, here's the thing I was wrong to say that joke today, and I'm sorry. Okay?
Geoffrey: Okay.
Ray: Good. Good, I'm glad. You know you're my boy, right?
Geoffrey: Yeah.

Debra: [to Geoffrey] You know, honey, if anything, pull Mommy's face up.

Ray: Coach Bryan, Geoffrey has something he wants to ask you.
Bryan: Sure. What can I do for you, my friend?
Geoffrey: Can I play?
Bryan: Well, Geoffrey, before you said you didn't feel like playing, but now you changed your mind and you want to play?
Ray: You heard him... Coach... Bryan. Coach Bryan.
Bryan: Well, Geoffrey, if you want to play, I'll put you right in. You can be number 7, if you're ready to have fun.
Ray: He's ready! [off Bryan's look] Okay, I'll go sit. Hey, number 7, you know who else was number 7? Mickey Mantle.
Bryan: I believe that's baseball.
Ray: I know, Bryan. But he was still great, and it was a sport, too. And he had fun, and that's the most important thing.