Robert: Hey, if you see a flower shop, let's pull in.
Sergeant Judy: Oh, you didn't have to do that.
Robert: No, no, I'm taking Amy out to celebrate tonight.
Sergeant Judy: Amy? After all the times you bounced her around, she's still coming back for more?
Robert: It's very hard for a woman to resist the charms of Officer Love.

Sergeant Judy: I can take care of this. You gonna be okay?
Robert: I don't know. I guess so.
Sergeant Judy: Well, why don't you go wait in the car? I'll bring you some Goobers.

Debra: You look fantastic! Look at those shoes. That's very sexy.
Amy: They're killing me. But see how tiny my feet look?

Amy: Robert, what's the matter?
Robert: Nothing nothing. Just leave me alone!
Amy: Fine. Don't wanna go out? I understand. What I can't understand is how I can be such an idiot! Ow! I'll tell you one thing. I'm returning these damn shoes!

Debra: Robert.
Frank: What's with all the screaming? You guys aren't even married yet.
Robert: I didn't scream at her, all right?
Ray: Well, you weren't nice.
Robert: Just shut up, Raymond.
Marie: We don't say "shut up," Robert.
Robert: Well, then be quiet, Ma.
Marie: Oh, now just one minute, mister. You do not come into my house-
Ray: Our house.
Marie: Fine. Our house.

Marie: What happened? Did you have a bad day at work today?
Robert: You could say that.
Marie: I hope it goes better tomorrow, but this is no excuse-
Robert: It's gonna go better, Ma, because I quit the force.
Ray: Well, I guess we're not going out. [sighs] Meatloaf.

Robert: Let me ask you, Raymond, is your lettuce wilting before it should?
Ray: What?
Robert: How about your dairy products? Do you find yourself throwing away the milk before the expiration date?
Ray: Yeah, our refrigerator's fine, Robert, okay? We don't need any of your damn appliance insurance.
Robert: All right, then perhaps I should talk to the missus.
Ray: Do you know how stupid you sound?
Robert: Let me tell you something. If this was over the phone, you'd be begging me for this.
Ray: Yeah.
Robert: By the way, how is your phone?
Ray: You guys cover that?
Robert: Ah.

Ray: Come on, look, I brought you out here for a reason. We were talking about you after you left.
Robert: Yeah, you mean laughing about me.
Ray: No, not as much as you think. Debra said something that kinda makes sense. You're never gonna get better until you face your fears.
Robert: Who says I gotta get better?
Ray: Well, I do and Mom and Dad and Debra and anyone else who gets one of your phone calls about their humidifier.
Robert: Humidifiers, left unattended, a virtual breeding ground...