Adult Chris Quote #509
Quote from Adult Chris in Everybody Hates the Buddy System
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though Caruso had got on my last nerve, I was afraid I might be his last chance.
Gang Member: [to Caruso] So, you take that to Brooklyn Beach stop, and you're right there, all right?
Joey Caruso: How'd you get here before me?
Chris: I took the express train. This is the local train.
Gang Member: Hey, man, why'd you leave your boy out here like that? We could've hurt him.
Chris: I came back to get him.
Gang Member: What you want me to do?
Joey Caruso: Nah, leave him alone. If he gets hurt, I think it effects my grade.
Gang Member: Hey, man, in the buddy system, you never leave your buddy. No matter what. You understand?
Chris: Yeah.
Gang Member: Good. Now give me your wallet.
Chris: I don't have any money in it.
Gang Member: Did I ask you all of that?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I guess this is what Martin Luther King fought for, Black and White bullies side by side ready to kick my ass.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the Buddy System’ Quotes
Quote from Drew
Julius: I'm really proud of you for getting 100 on that test, so here you go.
Drew: Yeah! Wow.
Julius: Huh? What do you think?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Drew thought about saying this...
[fantasy:]
Drew: Gritsky? It's not Gritsky. It's Gretzky with an "E"! I scored 100 on my spelling test. I can't wear this! You got that big old head, and you can't even spell Gretzky. [scoffs] Maybe you should take my spelling classes. I ain't wearing this.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But if he did, here's what would've happened...
[fantasy: Drew is carried out of the house on a stretcher:]
Detective: What's the story?
Police Officer: Apparently, the kid loves hockey. Father brings home a jersey that says Gritsky with an "I" instead of Gretzky with an "E." Son mouths off, dad loses it, shoves the jersey down the kid's throat.
Detective: Is that the jersey?
Police Officer: It's all we could find.
Detective: Good thing he didn't ask for skates.
Quote from Julius
Julius: [answers phone] Hello?
Operator: I have a collect call from... [Julius quickly hangs up the phone]
Julius: Whew. Whew.
Quote from Julius
Drew: Hey, Dad, check it out. I got a hundred on my spelling test.
Julius: All right. My man!
Drew: I was thinking... Could I get a hockey jersey, since I got a hundred on my test?
Julius: You're supposed to get a hundred, you don't get a prize for doing well.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father never rewarded good behavior.
[fantasy:]
Chris: Dad, I cleaned out the tub.
Julius: You're supposed to clean the tub, it's your dirt ring.
[fantasy:]
Tonya: Hey, Dad. I fixed the heater.
Julius: You're supposed to fix the heater. You're the one who likes it warm.
[fantasy:]
Drew: Hey, Dad, I slaughtered a pig.
Julius: You're supposed to slaughter a pig. You're the one that likes bacon.