Rochelle Quote #143

Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates Funerals

Rochelle: Who ate my Turtles?
Maxine: Oh, is that what you call them things? I ate them, but they was nasty. What's in those things, anyway?
Rochelle: If you didn't like them, why did you eat them? Mama, I am sick of you. Ever since you got here, you have not stopped complaining. Just because Daddy is dead does not mean that you can come into my house and tell everybody what to do. And Michael, get your feet off of my damn couch before I slap the jam out of your toes. Aunt Grievey, stop all that crying. You cried on Easter. You cried on Halloween. You cried on Flag Day. Get some Kleenex, wipe your nose, 'cause it ain't that damn sad. [Grievey sobs] Aah! And hang up my phone! And Aunt Mousey, take off your coat and speak up. You're over there peeping and squeaking. [squeaking] You sound like a damn rat. Use your words! You're damn near 60 years old! And, Mama, the next time you want to eat my Turtles, the least you could do is like them.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] She's back!


 ‘Everybody Hates Funerals’ Quotes

Quote from Chris

Maxine: Mmm. Rochelle, can't you make a decent glass of iced tea?
Chris: Well, can't you leave her alone? It's iced tea! If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it! If you're not, don't!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I might be joining my grandfather sooner than I thought.
Maxine: Are you going to sit there and let that boy talk to me like that? Boy, don't you know I'll knock you into another family?
[fantasy: Chris sits on a couch with a White family:]
Mother: Who are you?
Chris: You don't want to know.

Quote from Rochelle

Rochelle: Chris, how many times do I have to tell you to quit leaving this damn yo-yo on the floor? What are you trying to do, kill me?
Chris: I forgot where I left it.
Rochelle: Well, will you remember when I fall down the steps and break my neck?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Sometimes it felt like all my mother did was yell at everybody.
Rochelle: Tonya, close the door! You trying to freeze the whole house?
Rochelle: Drew, turn that mess down! You trying to make everybody in the house go deaf? And get your feet off my table.
Rochelle: Julius! Pick up your drawers! Do I have to do everything around here?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] And when I say my mother yelled at everybody, I mean everybody.
Rochelle: [yelling in front of a mirror] Rochelle, what did I tell me? Are you trying to drive me crazy?

Quote from Michael

Julius: Um, Rochelle, even if we split this five ways, that's still a lot of money.
Maxine: Who's talking about splitting it?
Julius: Well, I just assumed we'd all chip in. I mean, it is your husband.
Michael: Julius, I want to help out.
Julius: What's this?
Michael: It's a baseball card. Al Oliver. He played in Pittsburgh. Lifetime .330 hitter. That card is going to be worth thousands of dollars someday.
Julius: How much is it worth now?
Michael: About a dollar.