Chris Quote #536
Quote from Chris in Everybody Hates Big Bird
Adult Chris: [v.o.] In high school, you learned that the type of girl you are determines the type of guy you go out with. Nerdy girls hang out with nerdy guys, smart girls hang out with smart guys and dumb girls hang out with jocks. And then there are the girls that didn't hang out with anybody and the guys that made fun of them. We were those guys, and she was that girl.
Greg: Man, look at that. She looks like her family gave the baby back and kept the stork.
Chris: Her name is Kelly, but everybody calls her "Big Bird."
Joey Caruso: Hey, Big Bird.
Boy #1: Yo, Big Bird.
Boy #2: What's up, Big Bird? [they laugh]
Greg: I wonder what'd have to go wrong for you to end up with a girl like that?
Chris: It's like being on The Planet of The Apes, and all the apes said, "No."
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates Big Bird’ Quotes
Quote from Julius
Chris: The only thing is, she's a little awkward-looking.
Julius: Awkward? Like she has one leg longer than the other?
Chris: No.
Julius: Like she dislocated her shoulder and they put it back wrong?
Chris: No.
Julius: Like her eyes are too far apart?
Chris: No.
Julius: Like she's knock-kneed and pigeon-toed, and when she walks she makes a clicking sound?
Chris: No.
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was running for my life, Vanessa was running her game down.
Vanessa: Listen up now, everybody. Now, we all in this together. So if we gonna win this thing, then we got to get our mojo working.
Rochelle: Mojo? Is that what we're depending on, mojo? Well, what about the stats, the line, the over, the under? What about the odds? The spread, the angle, the handicap? What about the hook, the hot game? You know, the rundown, the system? What about a tout, the trends? What about a wiseguy? Everybody needs a wiseguy.
Quote from Chris
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While Vanessa bet on the Jets, I had a date with a giant.
Kelly: Hey, Chris. Is that what you had on earlier?
Chris: No, I had an accident and I needed to change.
Kelly: An accident? What happened?
Chris: Oh, I didn't make it to the bathroom in time, so I to get something from lost-and-found.
Kelly: Wow, that's crazy. It looks good on you, though. It makes you look edgy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Even though my bad clothes didn't seem to work, there was more bad stuff to come: bad food.
Kelly: I never heard of this place.
Chris: Yeah, everything they serve is from stuff that other people didn't finish eating.
Kelly: Oh.