Rochelle Quote #421
Quote from Rochelle in Everybody Hates the BFD
Nurse: Next time, just stretch first.
Rochelle: Stretch?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Nothing helps you give better ass whuppings than yoga.
Nurse: It's part of the proper technique.
[fantasy: a doctor addresses the camera:]
Dr. Information: There are various techniques that you can use to avoid injury while delivering an ass whupping. There's the Two-Cheek Cross, the Roundhouse Booty Buster, or my personal favorite: the Kunta Kinte Will Breaker. In the wrong hands, a beating can be called child abuse. But in the right hands, it could be the difference between raising a Bill Gates or a Bobby Brown.
[reality:]
Nurse: Read this. If you rest your arm in a sling for a week, you'll be fine.
Rochelle: A week? I can't rest for a week. I got to cook and clean.
Nurse: You're hurt. Make those kids do it.
Rochelle: Strap me up.
Nurse: Mm-hmm.
Everybody Hates Chris Quotes
‘Everybody Hates the BFD’ Quotes
Quote from Risky
Manny: Going to that concert?
Chris: I wish. It's sold out.
Risky: I've got a guy that's gonna give me two tickets tomorrow. They're yours for $200.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I don't have $200.
Chris: I'll take 'em.
Risky: Okay, I'll have them tomorrow at 6:00. And I'm gonna need cash. Now I don't take check, credit, pesos, rubles, wampums, ducats or wherewithal.
Chris: No problem.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] As long as you can also loan me $200.
Quote from Rochelle
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was hurting for cash, my mother was in pain.
Nurse: So the chart says you got pain in your shoulder. How did you do this?
Rochelle: I was reaching for something and I must've overextended.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's one way of putting it.
[flashback to Rochelle holding a belt behind a bent-over Drew:]
Rochelle: Boy, didn't I tell you about throwing that ball?!
Drew: Mama, I didn't mean to break it, I'm sorry.
Rochelle: Oh, your behind gonna be sorry. [cracking] Ow! Ow!
[present:]
Nurse: Went too far back on the wind-up, didn't you?
Rochelle: Yeah! You know that boy broke a $60 lamp when I told him do not throw a ball in the house.
Quote from Doc
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I waited for my scholarship money, I was researching other ways to get some cash.
Doc: Give you an advance on your pay?
Chris: Yeah, and I'll pay you back soon as I get my scholarship money.
Doc: That sounds like a good plan. But what happens if you get killed?
Chris: I haven't thought about that.
Doc: Ain't that nothing. You learning about death and ain't even thought about dying. Death can happen at any moment, son. It can happen when you're happy, when you're sad, or when you owe somebody money.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Translation: no.