‘Everybody Hates Caruso’
Season 3, Episode 2 - Aired October 8, 2007
When a kid finally stands up to Caruso, Chris learns that the only thing worse than a school controlled by a bully is a power vacuum. Meanwhile, Julius has five days paid vacation but that's not going to stop him working.
Quote from Chris
Greg: Where you going? Don't you want to see who wins?
Chris: What's the difference? Either way, tomorrow, someone's gonna be kicking the crap out of me.
Quote from Julius
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back on my dad's secret job, he didn't know it, but the shipment was about to hit the fan.
Julius: Hey, excuse me, excuse me, look. I'll give you five dollars if you go in there and get a package for me.
Man: What are you...? You're some kind of pervert.
Julius: No, no. No, no, no, look. I'll give you ten, man, hey! Damn!
Quote from Chris
Adult Chris: [v.o.] For a few days, I had something I'd always wished for: no Caruso. But the only thing worse than life with him, was life without him. Everybody was talking about the fight, but I knew how it ended before it started.
Greg: Well, you did it, man. Caruso's back.
Chris: Yeah, I guess I'm a real hero: Superfool.
[When Chris turns around, Greg has run away]
Chris: Greg?
Joey Caruso: [knocks Chris's books out of his hands] Thanks, Sandman.
[After Caruso pushes Chris into his locker, he opens the door again]
Joey Caruso: Give me my money. You owe me a pizza. [closes door]
[Bernard Yao comes along and opens Chris's locker]
Chris: Thank you.
Bernard Yao: Thanks, nothing. You got what you wanted, I let Caruso beat me, and now I get what I want. Either I pass my math class or it's your ass.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What's he angry about? Can't he see I'm the one in the locker?
Quote from Chris
Chris: Just because Yao beat up Caruso doesn't mean he's going to beat us up, too.
Greg: Did you see the way he was looking at us when he came out of that alley? I'm not taking any chances.
Chris: You're overreacting.
Greg: [screams as they see Yao] Okay, look, we don't want any trouble. [hands over money]
Bernard Yao: What's this?
Greg: My lunch money. I always pay on time, and I don't even mind tossing in a few extra bucks around the holidays.
Bernard Yao: What is wrong with you guys? I don't want your money.
Greg: But after what you did to Caruso, we figured you were taking over.
Bernard Yao: I'm not taking over anything. I just got tired of him picking on me. That's why I took karate. It was either that, or give up my lunch money.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] If I had to pay for karate lessons, I wouldn't have had lunch money.