Chris Rock Quotes

Find quotes from 1 of Chris Rock's TV roles.

  • Adult Chris - Everybody Hates Chris Adult Chris - Everybody Hates Chris

    Everybody Hates Chris is a fictional account of Chris Rock's teenage years in Brooklyn in the 1980s. The show follows Chris, his parents Julius and Rochelle, and siblings Drew and Tonya, as they move to Bedford-Stuyvesant (Bed-Stuy) where Chris starts at a majority-White school.

    Main Character 507 quotes

Everybody Hates Chris: Adult Chris Quotes

Quote from Everybody Hates Jail

Chris: It wasn't me. I go to Corleone Junior High. I got the cookies from school, and I'm just selling them so I can go on some trip to Washington, DC. And I did not steal them. I was just saying that so people would want to buy them.
Russo: You go to Corleone? What are you the only Black kid there? Nice try. There was an eyewitness, and you fit the profile, cookie boy.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I may have only been 13, but I already knew how racial profiling worked. This is what the witness said...
[flashback:]
Man: He was a Black male, medium complexion, about 6'4, 230 pounds. He had brown eyes. Um, he was wearing a Scout uniform with a yellow beanie, and he had on dark pants, and size 14 dark shoes. And, uh, a birthmark on the back of his left wrist. Oh, and... And he walked with a limp.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But this is what the cop heard...
Man: Um, he was Black, and, uh, Black, Black, and Black. Um, Black, Black, and he Black, Black, Black, Black, Black, Black. And, uh, he had, uh, Black, Black, Black, Black. And, oh, a Black. Yeah. And, uh, he walked with a Black.

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Quote from Everybody Hates Keisha

Tonya: Ooh, I'm telling.
Drew: Shut up, Tonya.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Usually, when Tonya said she was telling, that meant I was getting in trouble. But I didn't care. All I wanted to do was slap the black off of Drew.
[fantasy: Drew's face has a patchy complexion as he is carried into an ambulance on a stretcher:]
Detective: What happened?
Police Officer: Looks like the older brother came home, found the little brother kissing his woman and slapped the black off him.
Detective: [holding an evidence back] Is this the black?
Police Officer: All we could find.
Detective: So much for brotherly love.

Quote from Everybody Hates Snow Day

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father couldn't leave Drew and Tonya home alone, because if you pull that Home Alone crap in a Black neighborhood, they take away your kids.