Cliff Quote #279

Quote from Cliff in Strange Bedfellows, Part 3

Norm: Hey, Woody, give us a couple of beers, will you?
Tim: Hey, where you guys been?
Cliff: Ah, Normie took me to meet Donna, the alleged Lolita.
Norm: Yeah, maybe she's not quite as bad as I made her out to be.
Cliff: Are you kidding? She's the sweetest, most innocent freckle-faced youngster I ever wanted to meet. And for you to imply she was unwholesome and behaved in a salacious manner towards you is unbelievable.
Norm: Well, maybe my imagination's a little overactive, I guess.
Cliff: Especially if you think that that young lady is coming on to you. She's coming on to me like gangbusters.
Norm: Cliffie, you know, you're really kind of a handy guy to have around. Just when I think I've gone completely off the deep end, I look over at you, and there you are diving off the cliffs at Acapulco.
Cliff: Yeah, but looking mucho primo in my bikini briefs, eh?

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 ‘Strange Bedfellows, Part 3’ Quotes

Quote from Norm

Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Woody: How you feeling today, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Poor.
Woody: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Norm: No, I meant, pour.

Quote from Woody

Diane: Woody? Woody? May I ask you a question?
Woody: Sure, if you're not fussy about the answer.
Diane: Has Sam ever talked to you about his feelings toward Miss Eldridge?
Woody: Well... I heard him say that he kind of likes her. But in my opinion, you and Sam make a much better couple.
Diane: Really?
Woody: Yeah. You're my two favorite people in the whole world.
Diane: Oh, Woody. [hugs him] Thank you.
Woody: Except for my parents.
Diane: I know.
Woody: And my teachers at school. Oh, wait a minute. I can put you ahead of my 8th grade teacher, Mr. Thorndike. He always had chalk on his suit and he smelled kind of funny. But, you know, I don't wanna hurt Mr. Thorndike's feelings, so let's just forget this conversation.
Diane: I was planning to, Woody.

Quote from Carla

Carla: Hey, whitey. About that dye job crack... I'm sorry.
Diane: You're sorry? I don't think I've heard you say that before. [Woody hands Diane drinks] Thanks, Woody.
Carla: Yeah, I know. But I figure it's about time. I mean, now that you're Boston's number-one loser, I'm feeling... I'm feeling kind of different about you.
Diane: I'm flattered.
Carla: In fact I wanna apologize for all the crummy things I've said to you over the years.
Diane: Why, thank you, Carla.
Carla: Except for that one about your lizard lips. I like that one.
Diane: Exception noted.
Carla: And you know, the one about you having a personality you could store meat in. I'd like to keep that one alive too.
Diane: This is so like you. Covering up what are obviously some very fine, warm feelings. But I happen to know what you're really saying is you like me.
Carla: You're touching me.
Diane: It's called communication.
Carla: No, it's called a death wish.