Sam Quote #81
Quote from Sam in One for the Book
Kevin: Can I have your attention? I've been sitting here drinking all evening. Now I have something important to say.
Cliff: Yeah, it's down the hall to the left, guy.
Kevin: First, I'd like to make a public apology to the young lady I insulted earlier this evening. I lost my head.
Coach: Kevin, please, don't worry about it.
Diane: Apology accepted, Kevin.
Kevin: Second, I'd like to thank you all for helping me see the light. It is clear now that I am not fit for the monastery. I succumb too easily to the pleasures of the flesh.
Norm: That's OK. Don't worry about it.
Kevin: Tonight... Tonight has proven that I belong here, in a bar, drinking booze with seedy degenerates, and getting slapped around by cheap dames.
Coach: Kevin, it's our pleasure.
Sam: I'm gonna give you a real man's drink here. It's called coffee.
Kevin: Coffee? Men drink that?
Sam: Men who've had too much to drink do.
Cheers Quotes
‘One for the Book’ Quotes
Quote from Coach
Cliff: Hey, here's a little-known fact. Now, most of you were probably under the assumption that basketball was invented in these United States, right?
Man: Yeah, James Naismith, Springfield College.
Cliff: I can see it's a good thing I showed up tonight. Basketball was invented thousands of years ago by the Mayans. They played it for centuries.
Man: Is that true?
Norm: Sure.
Cliff: Watch me get the Coach on this one. Coach, I got a question for you. Who invented basketball?
Coach: The Mayans.
Norm: Way to go, Coach.
Cliff: Where did you hear that?
Coach: Well, how should I know? There must've been a Mayan in here bragging about it.
Quote from Norm
Norm: [enters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Diane: Norman.
Sam: What you up to, Norm?
Norm: My ears.
Coach: Want a beer, Norm?
Norm: Does a rag doll have cloth knobs?
Carla: There's a lady present, Norm.
Norm: Oh, sorry, Diane.
Quote from Carla
Sam: Sir? Save your quarter. That piano hasn't worked in 20 years.
Carla: Use the jukebox. It doesn't work either, but it's only a dime.
Norm: Sammy, why do you keep something around here that doesn't work?
Carla: Cos no-one else'll give her a job!