Cliff Quote #160
Quote from Cliff in The Mail Goes to Jail
Diane: Cliff, we don't usually see you in here this early.
Cliff: [congested] Uh, I'm sick, Diane. I must be coming down with something. Thought I'd get some coffee here before I finish my route.
Coach: No, Cliff, a brandy. Let me get you a nice brandy.
Cliff: No, Coach, I hope I'm never that ill. As long as I'm carrying this bag, there's one thing that'll never touch these lips.
Carla: You mean there's something that wants to?
Cliff: Alcohol. I'm on duty, Carla. Just a coffee, please, Coach.
Coach: I can do better than that for you, Cliffie. Will somebody go upstairs to Melville's, please, and get this man a bowl of hot soup?
Cheers Quotes
‘The Mail Goes to Jail’ Quotes
Quote from Coach
Cliff: All right, look, I'll call and see what the penalty is, but it's got to be anonymous.
Coach: OK, everybody in favor of Cliff calling, raise your hand. [all hands go up] It's anonymous. Not even an extension.
Quote from Diane
Diane: Bambi?
Sam: Yeah, what's wrong with that?
Diane: Well, I suppose it's better than Dumbo or Goofy. Not as appropriate, but...
Sam: Coach, can I have my flashlight, please?
Diane: You know, Sam I can't help but noticing that Bambi wasn't the same little deer that you left here with on Friday.
Sam: No, I got rid of Cindy. We weren't compatible.
Diane: Really? What was the problem there?
Sam: Dumb as a post.
Diane: Oh, with so much in common, I can't imagine why you two went awry.
Sam: No, I'm serious. I mean, she just wasn't my intellectual equal.
Diane: You should have said you're looking for an intellectual equal. I could introduce you to something that's growing on my shower curtain.
Quote from Cliff
Norm: How many letters you got left?
Cliff: I don't know. Seven or eight. [eats soup] Boy, this tastes good.
Norm: Hey, these are all on my way home. Let me drop these off for you, Cliffie. I've got to go home anyway.
Cliff: No, Norm, you're not trained. You're not qualified.
Norm: What qualified? You drop them in a slot. A chimp could do it.
Cliff: A chimp? No way. They did a study at the University of Michigan. Chimps were 32% slower. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, they were better with customer relations and everything, but...