Woody Quote #843

Quote from Woody in Woody Gets an Election

[on TV:]
Woody: Fact is, I'm really not much of a politician. In fact, I really don't know much about anything. I... I... I don't know, I just... I just wanted to [crying]... Thought it'd be nice to be a city councilman. I mean, I'd do a good job, too, I promise! [sniffling] How bad could I screw up? I mean, it's not like a councilman could declare war or anything! I- I couldn't, could l? It's just one vote! I mean, would it kill you to vote for me?
Kelly: Oh, don't cry, Woody!
Woody: Oh, well, this is this is my wife Kelly, and she deserves better than just a simple bartender.
Kelly: Oh, it's all right. I love you, Woody.
Woody: I love you, too, Kelly.
Kelly: In fact, we both love you.
Woody: Both?
Kelly: Yes. This probably isn't the ideal time to tell you, but you're gonna be a daddy.
Woody: I'm gonna be... [laughs] I'm gonna... Did you hear that, everybody? I'm gonna be a daddy! [laughs] I'm gonna be a daddy!

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 ‘Woody Gets an Election’ Quotes

Quote from Frasier

Woody: I don't know if I can handle a debate, Dr. Crane. I'm not very good at rendering my opinions.
Frasier: Nothing to worry about, Woody. Just tell some more of those farm stories, people seem to love those. If that doesn't work, just say the word "change" about a hundred times. Come on, let's go to my place and work on it. Trust me, Woody, with my brains and your smile, who knows how high we can go. Congressman, senator... [breathily] Who knows?

Quote from Woody

Frasier: Thank God I got to you in time! I've got to talk... What are you reading?
Woody: Well, I'm boning up on the Constitution in case I ever decide to run for Congreff.
Frasier: It's Congress, Woody. In colonial times, the S's looked like F's.
Woody: Oh. Well, if I'm elected, that's the first thing I'm gonna change.

Quote from Cliff

Cliff: Hey, holy moly, guacamole, Normie.
Norm: Hey, what? Huh?
Cliff: See that guy down there? I think that might be Spanky McFarland from the old Little Rascals.
Norm: Get out.
Cliff: Yeah, I think so.
Norm: Really?
Cliff: Hey, I'll go ask him. I'll go check it out. [humming The Little Rascals theme] Hey, how are you doing, Sid?
Spanky McFarland: Hi.
Cliff: Hey, uh, my name's Cliff Clavin.
Spanky McFarland: Hello, Cliff.
Cliff: You know, I... I know you've probably heard this a thousand times before, but you do resemble that, uh, child actor Spanky McFarland from The Little Rascals.
Spanky McFarland: Well, that's because...
Cliff: 'Cause I'm one of Little Rascals fan there ever was. I mean I've got every episode on tape, you know. Well, except "Free Eats" and, uh, "Captain Spanky's Showboat."
Spanky McFarland: That's great.
Cliff: Yeah, Alfalfa, Darla, Buckwheat. [chuckles] Hey, I got to confess, I had quite a big crush on Darla. I'll tell you, you know, if you were Spanky, boy, I could sit here and chew on your ear for hours, you know, about the, you know, "Happy Birthday, Mr. Hood" and the "He-Man Women Haters Club." And remember the sound the cake made coming out of the oven? Was it... [makes groaning noise] Huh? So, uh, are-are you Spanky?
Spanky McFarland: Nope.
Cliff: Ah. Take care. Catch you later.
Norm: You are Spanky, aren't you?
Spanky McFarland: Oh, yeah.