Sam Quote #1321
Rebecca: Now, just tell me, what was the first thing she did when you got in her bedroom?
Sam: Actually, we never got to the bedroom.
Rebecca: You did it in the hall?
Sam: No. What kind of woman do you think she is? We did it in the elevator.
Rebecca: The elevator?
Sam: Yeah. I was afraid at first myself, being in a public place like that, but she was so insistent. She said the danger would heighten the excitement of it all. She kept whispering in my ear and saying we could be discovered at any second. Amazing stuff. I mean, at first, I was against it... "it" being the rail.
Quote from The Proposal
Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.
Quote from I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday
Diane: Sam, I know you to be a man of pride and principle, but strength is also to be found in the ability to bend. Witness the willow, nature's strongest tree.
Sam: No, I thought the oak was the strongest tree.
Diane: Only in furniture.
Sam: What about the saying "strong as the mighty oak"?
Diane: The oak can be felled by a single harsh wind under the right circumstances.
Sam: All right, but what about birch and mahogany? Now, those--
Diane: Would you shut up about the damn trees?
Sam: You brought them up.
Quote from Cry Hard
Sam: How much are you going to take before you realize this guy is no good for you?
Rebecca: I don't know, Sam. How much does it take when you're in love with someone? You know, I've heard stories about you and that Diane girl. You put up with her for 5 years. 5 years! What about that?
Sam: Sweetheart, if I could have sent her to prison, don't you think I would have?
Quote from Sam
Carla: Did she fall for it?
Sam: Hook, line, and... Sammy.
Carla: Do you believe this? Did you ever think this day would come?
Sam: As a matter of fact, I never had any doubt there, Carla. Behold a sealed envelope. Will you please open it and read the contents.
Carla: Mm-hmm. "l, Sam Malone, will sleep with Rebecca Howe on the night of April 19th, 1990." When did you write this?
Sam: This morning. I write a new one every day.
Quote from Cliff
Rebecca: Jean Marie. I don't think that's such a hot name. I think it's stupid. It sounds like it's French for "Jan Murray."
Cliff: Well, the French, they consider Jan Murray the greatest comic genius of the 20th century.
Frasier: No, they say that about Jerry Lewis.
Cliff: Well, they're wrong, it's Jan Murray.
Quote from Woody
Woody: She seems like the perfect roommate. But I don't know. The thought of having a girl for a roommate... Well, I got a real problem with that.
Norm: Girlfriend wouldn't understand, huh?
Woody: Now I got two problems.
Sam: Oh, I get it. Your mom would disapprove.
Woody: Make that 3 problems.
Frasier: What, do you have religious scruples?
Woody: Oh, great. 4 problems.
Sam: What was your original problem, Woody?
Woody: Well, I like to sit on the couch and leave the top button on my pants undone after a good frozen meal.