Sam Quote #1066
Sam: Good Afternoon, Miss Howe. I believe you've met my associate, Mr. Peterson.
Norm: How do you do?
Rebecca: What is this?
Sam: Well, since you admire the people in the business world so much, I thought that I would try speaking to you in a language that you might understand. First graph, please.
Rebecca: Norm, how much did he pay you to do this?
Norm: Oh, come now. Mr. Malone and I go way back. We're dear old friends. $80. Not yet.
Sam: Okay. Now, this first graph represents your dating history.
Rebecca: There's nothing on it.
Rebecca: Next graph, please. Now, this line represents the sexual drive of a woman about your age throughout her entire life. All right. Now, this line here represents the sexual drive of a man about my age. You'll notice that these two lines intersect at approximately 4:27 this afternoon right here.
Rebecca: What's that?
Sam: My place. Thank you, Mr. Peterson. That'll be all.
Quote from Cliff
Cliff: Good gravy, look at here. Says that one out of every three of our leisure dollars is spent in some kind of an amusement park. Mickey Mouse is a billion-dollar industry. For crying out... You know, if you've got to have theme parks, you know, why not give the kids some real heroes to look up to? You know what I mean? Like generals, astronauts, postal workers, uh, pioneers.
Frasier: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Back up there, Cliff. Postal workers?
Cliff: Sure. Yeah, why not? Hey, why not indeed. Get this. "Postal World". Huh? No, hey, hey, that's that's not half bad.
Norm: No. It's all bad.
Cliff: No, no, no. No. No, no, no. Just imagine this. You know, a whole amusement complex devoted to the postal experience. I mean, all of America could thrill to the glory and-and the pageantry and the passion that is the US Postal Service.
Frasier: And you seriously think that'll work?
Cliff: Oh, you bet I do. You know... You know, if I can peddle this idea, I might be able to make some real money and get out of this dead-end job.
Quote from Woody
Woody: Oh, hi, Miss Howe. Uh, you got a message. Mr. Stone got fired, and the new Executive Vice President wants to see you in his office at 4:30 p.m. sharp.
Rebecca: Let me see that. This is a blank piece of paper, Woody.
Woody: Well, I know. I just carried it to remind me to give you the message.
Quote from I Will Gladly Pay You Tuesday
Diane: Sam, I know you to be a man of pride and principle, but strength is also to be found in the ability to bend. Witness the willow, nature's strongest tree.
Sam: No, I thought the oak was the strongest tree.
Diane: Only in furniture.
Sam: What about the saying "strong as the mighty oak"?
Diane: The oak can be felled by a single harsh wind under the right circumstances.
Sam: All right, but what about birch and mahogany? Now, those--
Diane: Would you shut up about the damn trees?
Sam: You brought them up.
Quote from The Proposal
Sam: You know, for the longest time, I kept pretending about you. I guess I was afraid to really admit my feelings. But from the very start, down deep inside, I have been crazy about you. Crazier about you than any other woman I've ever met. I mean, hell, I was crazy about you even when I hated you. [Diane laughs] What I'm trying to say is will you marry me?
Sam: Are you serious?
Diane: I'm afraid I am.
Sam: Well... seems to me you have two choices. One, I can throw you in. Or two, you can jump in.