‘Cyrano’
Season 2, Episode 13 - Aired January 6, 1995
Shawn and Cory are leaned on to help Frankie charm the girl of his dreams; unfortunately she also happens to Harley Keiner's girlfriend.
Quote from Shawn
Shawn: Nobody saw us. No witnesses. And without witnesses, it's all just circumcized evidence.
Quote from Mr. Feeny
Mr. Feeny: Well, happy anniversary. And I hope you have others.
Quote from Shawn
Topanga: Cyrano performs a totally selfless act and he does it for the sake of love. That is so romantic.
Shawn: Why? What does he get out of it? He knocks himself out spewing poetry, his friend gets the girl All he can do is go home and blow his big nose.
Quote from Topanga
Topanga: Boys don't understand passion and romance, and will never understand women. And that's why all of you will spend half your lives confused and the other half paying alimony.
Quote from Alan
Alan: Amy, call me crazy, but this is exactly what you said you wanted.
Amy: Yes, Alan. And a trash compactor would be a lovely gift on say a Tuesday.
Alan: You said you wanted compactor. I get compactor. Why Ugh wrong?
Amy: We don't want to be late for dinner.
Alan: Ugh not sleep in cave tonight.
Quote from Shawn
Cory: Well, that's real sad and tender and what do you want from us?
Frankie: Help me woo her.
Shawn: What?
Frankie: Woo her.
Shawn: What?
Quote from Shawn
Frankie: I want you guys to coach me.
Cory: Frankie, I don't know if we're the guys to help you woo her.
Shawn: What?
Quote from Shawn
Cory: Shawn, we just helped Frankie snake Harley's girlfriend. I mean, we gave him love lessons, we hid in the locker, we told him what to say. How is that not trouble?
Shawn: OK, let me think. Uh, protective custody, plastic surgery Ah! We dress up as girls, pretend we're our out-of-town cousins and say we haven't seen ourselves.
Cory: No, that'll never work.
Shawn: Oh, yeah? Tell my Uncle Mary.