Narrator: And it's why, six months later Lucille Bluth.
Sergeant Briggs: Lucille Bluth? I've got some bad news.
Lucille: Yes?
Sergeant Briggs: I'm here to see you about your son.
Lucille: Oh, this is a ploy. He's trying to get me to see him. How do I know you're really in the Army? Who did Larry Kert replace in Company?
Sergeant Briggs: I don't know. I know who he thought he was replacing, and it was Dean Jones. But he didn't come close.
Lucille: [anxiously gasps] My Buster?

Narrator: And Lucille rushed to the hospital.
Lucille: What happened? Where's my son?
Doctor: Mrs. Bluth, your son went down while piloting a plane over Afghanistan.
Lucille: My God.
Doctor: He deserves a big hand for that and we gave him one. I'm afraid, besides that, there's nothing we can do.

Lucille: So you had me come out here under false pretenses?
Buster: You wouldn't come here any other way! You haven't seen me in a year. It's why I went to Army, to win you back. You have to forgive me!
Lucille: It's not about forgiving you. Although I don't.
Buster: Huh.
Lucille: You need to grow up, Buster, because I can't take care of you anymore. I need to get away, get away. You're hopelessly hopeless, Buster. It's as if they wrote that song for my own son. I'm glad you have a new hand. But you need to find someone else to hold it. Tell the prison limo to come around!

Ophelia: Excuse me. You're a veteran and you have nowhere to go?
Buster: It's not Army's fault. I'm a monster.
Ophelia: And what makes you think you're a monster?
Buster: What do you see when you look at this?
Ophelia: I see a veteran whose hand I'd like to shake. Not that one. I think you should meet my husband. We may have something for you.
Buster: Perfect! Wait, you didn't say "nothing," did you?
Ophelia: Something.
Buster: "Something." Got it.

Narrator: In the following weeks, Buster came in handy to the entire Love family. Helping the boys at school.
Older Boy: This table is for National Honor Society members only.
Buster: Really? Well, what about these two guys? Were they invited? Light Drizzle and Thunder.
Older Boy: What?
Buster: See, Light Drizzle will just annoy you. But, you see, Thunder will "F" you up!
Narrator: This got the attention of Perfecto Telles, vice president of the student anti-bullying squad. Buster even received a badge from an undercover cop who was posing as a teacher.
Rocky Richter: You're never too old to stand up to a bully. Whether he's an attention hog who looks just like you, or whether he's half your size.

Narrator: He used his finely-honed skills as a doting son to give the long-neglected Ophelia some much-deserved attention.
Buster: Pour in the liquor. Don't want the boys to see. You throw in some cola. Got a Coke and Hennessy! Just for you, Mother Love.
Ophelia: Buster. You are the most considerate man I've ever met.
Buster: Oh, stop! You're embarrassing me!
Ophelia: And sweet and...
Buster: No, I'm serious. Stop, stop.
Ophelia: But your other hand is waving me on.
Buster: Oh, is that going again? I think it's on demo. Do you have a pencil or a paper clip?

Narrator: And he helped Herbert on the campaign trail.
Herbert Love: Let me show you what a government handout looks like. Hold your government hand out. Yeah! And let's give freedom from government a big thumbs-up! [Buster flips the crowd off with his big hand]
Narrator: Although he hadn't achieved complete mastery.

Narrator: Buster was enjoying his new role as a symbol of government waste.
Herbert Love: It's like I said about contraception. If you want me to pay for her diaphragm, I get to put my hand in her-
Buster: Shoe!
Herbert Love: Nice stop, Blind Side monster. Buster. Blind Side Buster.

Narrator: After spending the night with Ophelia Love, Buster proudly went to visit his mother.
Buster: I came here to thank you. You were trying to push me out of the nest, and you were right.
Lucille: Really?
Buster: Yes. I've grown. And I'm in love.
Lucille: Hamster or turtle?
Buster: [chuckles] No, Mother. Hamsters are gross. It's a female. Human. Female human. Whole thing. So your parental responsibilities are complete.
Lucille: Hot.
Buster: I no longer need you.
Lucille: Well, you don't have to go that far.
Buster: I'm not a mother boy anymore. I'm a mother man.
Lucille: Use your good hand.
Buster: [pulls door handle off] Guards!

Narrator: And he returned back to his love nest to tell Ophelia the good news.
Buster: I'm out of the thing! How did yours go?
Ophelia: It's over. I talked to Herbert, I told him... everything about us, and it's over.
Buster: Mmm. I know it's scary. I just got out of a long relationship, too. But I'm here for you. And, girl, I ain't going nowhere.
Ophelia: I need you to leave.
Buster: So let's get it on- Wait, what's happening?
Ophelia: He wants to try to change. He wants a second chance, and I want to give it to him.
Buster: What. So you were just using me to hurt him?
Ophelia: Yes. Thank you.
Buster: But what about me? What happens to me? I certainly can't go back to you as my mother. After I've zipped down, you can't expect me to zip up!
Ophelia: I know that. But you have to leave.
Buster: No, I'm okay with the mothering. I mean, he had you first, I'm here to stay. It's just a little mother/son bump in the road. Mother, I ain't going nowhere.
Ophelia: Your hand is broken again.
Buster: No, it's just my heart. Oh, it's my hand, too, actually.
Ophelia: I'm sorry, Buster.