Narrator: And Michael decided that perhaps Tobias was right. Perhaps he did need to look the grim truth of mortality in the face.
Lucille: [opens door] Oh shit, he found out.

Lucille: And we didn't want to bring up those bad old memories. Besides, this place already has enough bad ones for me. My mother died here. Gob was born here. And I'm sure you've heard, it was also your father's [bleep] pad.
Michael: Only from the next room.
Lucille: Please believe me, if I could turn back time, I never would've answered that door.

Michael: Tobias. He's the one that put coming out here in my mind in the first place.
Lucille: He what?
Tobias: As a metaphor.
Lucille: You're out!
Tobias: But I've already pinked away my sideburns to play Buster at the family of the year ceremony tonight. And Buster's already invited a date. [imitating Buster] Come out and meet your boyfriend, Lucille.

Lucille: Is he supposed to be me?
Tobias: Uh-uh-uh, Lucille Number 2. She's quite the grande dame. It's basically Michael without the peanut pockets.
Murphy: You know, you're playing her like you played that stammering mess of a Buster, and it won't do.
Tobias: Sometimes I don't even think that you want to be an actor.
Murphy: Actually, sometimes, I think I want to be a dog doctor. [Tobias slaps him] Ow!
Tobias: This is the role of a lifetime. Now, I know 50 gentlemen who would tuck their last nut to play this part.

Michael: Mmm. I know about the cottage.
George Sr.: I hated that rule.
Michael: Okay.
George Sr.: Michael?
Michael: Hmm.
George Sr.: I hated both rules.
Michael: Oh, yeah, the towels.
George Sr.: Can I ask you a question? How'd you get past the guard gate?
Michael: I came from the water.
George Sr.: I knew it. I told her. I told her, "He's gonna take us from the beach." Well, I am glad. I am glad you did. Yeah, it's just your mother and her rules. And I hated "no sand in the living room." [voice breaking] I mean, why have a beach house if every member of the family can't enjoy it?

Michael: You look like you're not enjoying anything. You all right?
George Sr.: Yeah. Your mom and I are [clears throat]... We're not together. We're not together in the well, I guess in, uh, every meaning of that word.
Michael: I assumed that, but, uh, why aren't you enjoying that?
George Sr.: Because your mom is being courted, Michael. Someone is fawning all over her.
Michael: I knew she had Buster.
George Sr.: No.
Michael: I knew it.
George Sr.: This one's not Buster. I mean, I wish that guy was Buster. Him I could fight, you know? You see, this guy got past me. How can your mother do this to me? I knew I should've sold that property when Stacy died.
Michael: Tracey.
George Sr.: No, we would've lost a fortune if we sold when Tracey died. No, Stacy was the paralegal I used to bring out there who went into insulin shock at the very height of the market. Sad. How can she do this to me?

George Sr.: I mean, he's attracted to her.He's attracted to her.
Michael: I'm sorry. Why would he be attracted to her if he's blind? And how did he burn off his fingertips?
George Sr.: I have no idea what you're talking about.
Michael: I may have added the fingertips. I assume if he's blind, he's gotta feel her face. But you said you never saw him touch her face?
George Sr.: I never said he was blind.
Michael: Look, I'm sure it's nothing. It's probably just some harmless one-way flirting. You know, or a Russian prank show.

Man: Don't mind me, I work downstairs. Just doing a little lunch looting. [laughs] You?
Michael: Uh... Uh... It was my family's company. I'm Michael Bluth.
Man: Hey. You guys put me in my first house.
Michael: Oh, yeah, a lot of people's first house was a Bluth.
Man: No, no, I was part of that Cornballer class action suit.
Michael: I see.
Man: Yeah, I made enough to put a down payment on a Sitwell.
Michael: Well, we've put a lot of people in Sitwells, too.

Michael: This will not be used as the conference room?
Gob: Uh, no. I had to kind of I had to move it, just, uh, for a couple reasons, actually. A, I want ed a bigger office.
Michael: That feels like the heart of it.
Gob: Yeah, it is...
but, uh... Hey, check out that view.
Michael: Boy, what's a bike tire doing on the roof of the Rite Aid?
Gob: Yeah, that's the $14,000 a month question, isn't it?

Gob: Adhir is a holdover from the Austero Company. He's our compliant officer. Or as I like to call him, Chief Worrywart. [makes chicken noise]
Adhir: It's "compliance officer."