Mr. Johnson Quote #107
Quote from Mr. Johnson in Fundraiser
Jacob: I just don't think you're supposed to give milk to cats.
Mr. Johnson: Every cartoon says you can.
Jacob: Cartoons... Milk propaganda at its finest. Did you put any more thought into getting him microchipped?
Mr. Johnson: Why? So Bill Gates can sign him up for a credit card he doesn't need?
Abbott Elementary Quotes
‘Fundraiser’ Quotes
Quote from Ava
Ava: I see you selling those Wonka Bars. Let me hear your sales pitch.
Henry: Pssh. Do I have to?
Ava: Yes, Bruce Banner in the middle of a transformation, you do.
Henry: Excuse me, sir, ma'am, or otherwise identifying human. Sorry to interrupt your day. My school is raising money to see science. Would you consider buying a chocolate bar?
Ava: Boy, you couldn't sell a scarf to Lenny Kravitz with that pitch. Who taught you to sell like that?
Henry: Mrs. Howard.
Ava: Of course. She's still using the tactics of a man who could turn water into wine and still only had friends.
Quote from Melissa
Melissa: [as Vito Corleone] You come to my house on the day my doughnut is to be married, and you ask me for a fritter. [normal voice] Only one?
Janine: Yeah.
Melissa: [as the Terminator] You'll be back. [as Forrest Gump] Life is like a box of choc...
Jacob: Melissa, you're bad at impressions! You're...
Melissa: [as the Soup Nazi] No doughnut for you!
Barbara: Okay. Now, that was good.
Quote from Mr. Johnson
Jacob: Oh. Whose cat is this?
Mr. Johnson: I don't know, I just found him in here. He won't budge. Think I'll get some bacon from the lunch lady, try to lure him out.
Jacob: Cats are pescatarians!
Mr. Johnson: You're telling me this cat believes in God?
Jacob: What... N... Let me show you how it's done, okay? Come here. Come here little Cinnamon Cupcake Hill.
Mr. Johnson: His name is Milton.
Jacob: Okay. I'm pretty sure nobody would ever name a cat "Milton."