TV Quotes

Dick: And it's worse for Mary. Her research means everything to her and and to nobody else. If only there was some way I could help her. Oh, but faculty is labor, and labor is powerless.
Sally: You know, that actually doesn't seem fair. I mean, labor does all the work.
Harry: Yeah. If the workers didn't show, they'd have nothin'.
Dick: Harry, what you've just said, it's given me a brilliant idea. This is crazy, but bear with me. What if the workers didn't show up for work one day?
Harry: Yes. Maybe on a Sunday.
Dick: No, not on a Sunday. On a regular workday. What if these workers said they wouldn't come back until their - let's call them "demands" - were met.
Harry: You'd have them over a barrel.
Sally: The bosses would cave.

Dick: It's too late for fonts. What we need is action. We can't be afraid. Suter? You're afraid you'll lose your new office. Strudwick, you're afraid you'll lose your precious perks. Judith, you're afraid you'll die a lonely spinster surrounded by cats.
Strudwick: We're being cautious.
Dick: You're being sheep, but at least the noble sheep gives us warm sweaters. All your hides would provide are coward pants.
Judith: And you have a better idea?
Dick: We hit the chancellor where he lives. We threaten to resign en masse if we don't get what we want.
Strudwick: You mean a strike?
Dick: What? No. No, I'm calling it "The Mighty Professor Tornado of the 21st Century."
Strudwick: A strike.
Dick: Fine. We'll call it a strike.

Mary: What's going on? Dick is acting strangely.
Tommy: Listen, Dr. Albright. Dick, he's got a lot of baggage. It's an internal struggle.
[Dick and Evil Dick continue fighting in the living room]
Mary: Oh, that poor thing. I didn't know.
Tommy: No, you couldn't know, 'cause he's been afraid. See, he's been lonely for such a long time. And as the years went by, he fell into despair and lost all hope, for what woman could ever learn to love a beast?

Dick: Tommy, how are you coming along with our histories?
Tommy: Oh, I have them right here. Legal documents, school records, doctored pictures, the works. Dick Solomon, class nerd, held back by a domineering mother, went to work for NASA in '74, but was fired after a minor procurement scandal. Newspaper clippings are enclosed. Major burnout led to a string of second-rate teaching jobs... yada, yada, yada, ending up here.
Dick: Well, this is excellent.
Sally: What about me?
Tommy: Sally. Stockbroker during the greedy '80s. Made and lost several fortunes before psychological problems and gender confusion led to a sex change operation in 1988.
Harry: I'm next.
Tommy: Harry. Harry, you're adopted, but we haven't told you yet.
Harry: Oh, that's gonna hurt.