Dick Quote #1060
Quote from Dick in Paranoid Dick
Dick: Funny thing. I was thinking about what you and Chancellor Stevens were discussing this morning. You know about the, um, the, uh... What were you talking about again?
Judith: I'm sorry. That was a private conversation.
Dick: Yeah, of course it was. [Judith puts a document away] I- I understand. By the by, Jude - and I call you Jude because we're so close - Mary and I have had a falling out. We're over. And I'd like to get a good plot going against her. Got anything on that?
Judith: Dick, I have a class.
Dick: No, you don't.
Judith: Okay, just leave.
Dick: Tell me what's going on between you and the chancellor and I will never set foot in your office again.
Judith: Fine. You know Chancellor Stevens' annual Badger Day address?
Dick: [chuckles] Oh, that insipid yawn fest?
Judith: I write them for him.
Dick: Last year's was tremendous. You might want to trim about an hour out of it this time. Oh, hey, Jude. Gotta go. I'll see you later.
3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes
‘Paranoid Dick’ Quotes
Quote from Harry
Harry: Jackpot! Yeah! Check it out, Tommy. This is the loosest machine on the boat.
Tommy: Harry, it's a change machine.
Harry: That's right. It's changing me into a winner. Cocktails.
Tommy: Come on, Harry, let's go. People want to use the machine.
Harry: Oh, well, I'm sure that they do. Come on, baby. Money comes to money. Come on, mama. [machine dispenses change] Yeah!
Quote from Mary
Mary: I'd never been in trouble until he came along. But he has this way of talking, see, when you know he's crazy, but you just can't help but listen to him. And all of a sudden, you find yourself doing things you never thought you'd do. Bad things, stupid things. And where is he now? Free as a bird. While I'm in here taking the fall.
Lorraine: We know how you feel.
Ginger: Yeah. You need a new pimp.
Mary: Pimp? I'm not a hooker. I'm a professor.
Ginger: Hmm. Too bad. You could make a nice living.
Mary: Thank you.
Quote from Dick
Mary: The chancellor. If I didn't know any better, I'd swear he was avoiding me.
Dick: Why would he be avoiding you? You're the Dean. And you've done an exemplary job.
Mary: You think so?
Dick: Yes. You've done nothing offensive. You haven't caused a single ripple on the pond. No controversial proposals, no expensive cutting-edge teachers, no "innovative" ideas to shake up the status quo. You've been almost invisible.
Mary: Well, I did institute those slanted parking spaces in the faculty lot.
Dick: Yeah, and no one cared. Oh, come on, Mary, you've lasted six months in a job that none thought you could keep and even fewer thought you deserved.